posted
Right, I have 30 mins left of "work" before I got to see the nice french lady who very literally makes my eyelids turn inside out. So, here is something I have been wondering about. Is there anything better than sex? I mean this in all seriousness. Its just that yesterday out of sheer boredom I did something which I haven't done for several years at least: I bought two women's magazines. Well, it was two for the price of one - Buy 'B' magazine and get a free copy of 'OK'! neither of which magazines I have ever purchased before. And EVERY PAGE it was like sexsexsex. Fashion - Look sexy! Beauty - Sexy smouldering eyes! Health - Eat any food you want and SEXercise! Gossip - Mena Suvari: I'm sick of the sexy schoolgirl image (Next to picture of her looking ultra sexy) ... and so on and so forth. Now, I know that these magazines aren't the best reference point for, well, anything really but surely... surely there is something else? O no, scrap that, I've just worked it out. I'm 30. These magazines aren't aimed at me are they? (Now, where did I put that copy of AMP minizine?) What do you lot think, is there anything that you enjoy more than sex? (Pussy freezeover: I'd *ahem* need something to make a comparison with first... )
posted
Firstly let me state I do adore sex, I love the way it makes me feel, I love getting hot and sticky. I get tetchy if I have to go long periods without it. However in answer to your question - yes there are a lot of things I enjoy more than sex, spending an evening with my mates, going out for dinner with my b/f, sailing a Dart 16 and wondering if I'm going to kill my crew. The reason I enjoy these things more than sex is because they mean more to me, yes getting it on with someone you care for or even just someone you lust after can be amazing and mind-blowing and leave you smiling in the morning and it's a fun way to spend an hour. However spending time with people who are important to me and doing things that make me feel alive, well it's a different kind of enjoyment which makes me emotionally fulfilled rather than just physically sated. One day I'm going to post and actaully make sense.
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posted
What's wrong with that? [edit: 'that' being Ben's post about advertising etc.] I think we should totally have a debate about magazines and their worth / lack thereof! I think you should rescind that 'thanks Ben' immediately. I want to join this prospective debate but I CAN'T BECAUSE THEY'RE MAKING ME DO ALL MY BOSS'S WORK BECAUSE SHE IS AWAY! THIS SUCKS!
posted
Surely Uber's sarcasm is because Ben's post's way off topic rather than because of any inherent lack of worth? Anyway, I dunno about your thread idea, I'd imagine it'd go something like this:
Ben: Magazines these days are too expensive and you're just paying four fucking quid to suck advertisers cocks. Everyone else: Yep, can't argue with that.
posted
No, there's nothing more physically fulfilling than sex, and I speak as a cyclist and you know what physical ecstasy that provides, and it toughens up your knackers like nothing else except sex.
For the head, emotionally, there may be other options than sex, but there is nothing much else in the head anyway - before, during and for much of the time after. Occasionally music will hit a similar spot, yes, and the act of creativity, deep in imagination while writing a story perhaps, that can be most stimulating. But it's not the same.
I do wish there was an 'off' button for thinking about sex, so one could get on with other things instead of always thinking, "Hmm, might nip off early today and see if X feels like a quick doob-de-doob", or "Better not get too pissed, I might not be able to manage it later", or "When did I last have a shag anyway?" It's a bane, it really is.
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posted
Yes but we'd only have a debate like that because the boards are in a total decline, not because that's all there is to say on the subject. Posts: 6175
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posted
oh for fucks sake when did this turn in to the "oh christ i can't think of anything to write about lets talk about sex" forum.
<warriors> we've got jizz being talked about on one thread, standing next to the joy of sex on this thread. and nobody nobody is getting wasted. can you dig it? can yoooooouuuu ddddddiigggggggg it?</warriors>
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quote:Originally posted by damo: oh for fucks sake when did this turn in to the "oh christ i can't think of anything to write about lets talk about sex" forum.
er damo, can't speak for the other thread but this one is in S'n'R.
I am happy to debate how shite magazines are on another thread because I believe they are mostly, but I only spent £1.80 on the two and they're the only ones I've bought for years (as previously stated) - O, apart from Glamour last month bought for the free sunglasses. And why am I justifying myself anyway, huh? HUH? Answer me that, forum!
Anyway, the french lady put green dye in my eye again and then when I blew my nose green dye came out!
But, back to the topic in hand (so to speak) other things I enjoy more than sex are, um, er ...
posted
No, but ALSO, I think this thread came out wrong. It wasn't meant to be about how great sex *is* and how much everyone is / isn't having, it was meant to be about how the magazines were full of it like it was the be all and end all and how there are other things that are better than sex. But perhaps the magazines are right? But whatevs. Its after 5pm on a Friday afternoon so there's no-one left around anyway. So. Meh.
posted
I can pretty readily put together a list of things I love - sex being one of them, but also, say, a really great meal, the smell of clean air in the mountains, or... you get the idea. Really good sex probably takes the prize. But what about mediocre sex, when your partner is fufilled but you're left feeling a bit blasé? There are probably other things I would rather do than have mediocre sex.
-------------------- Give 'em .0139 fathoms and they'll take 80 chains. Posts: 3201
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
posted
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: It wasn't meant to be about how great sex *is* and how much everyone is / isn't having, it was meant to be about how the magazines were full of it like it was the be all and end all and how there are other things that are better than sex.
I think the reason magazines do this is because it is in their advertiser's interests, and thus their own interests, to make their readers feel insecure and inadequate. Hence, they strive to create the impression that not only is sex of vital importance for emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing, but everyone else is having much better and more frequent sex than the reader is. Eventually the reader starts to think: I should be having better sex. I should be having more sex. I should know about frenulums and the perinuem. I should be buying sex toys and lingerie; I should be leaving little erotic messages around the house and offering anal on demand. The sex that the reader is having does not seem to remotely resemble the sex that everyone else is apparently having: this must surely be because there is something lacking in her life that urgently needs to be addressed.
So, the reader's brand new anxieties about sex join the burgeoning throngs of other anxieties already nurtured and encouraged by magazines: her body is the wrong shape; her thighs wobble and pucker; her face lacks dewy youthfulness; her diet is deficient in vital nutrients and might be killing her; her career is an elaborate joke; her relationships are dead end; and now she's rubbish in bed, too. It's like a constant rain of tiny, biting criticisms that conspire to make you feel like a total loser, interspersed with articles and adverts for things that implicitly promise to help you climb out of your pathetic loser rut. Er. So that's what I think, anyway.
ETA: Having just read the thread properly, it has occured to me that ben did not originally post a picture of a depressed baby chimp, and that I might have inadvertently repeated/fudged around some of the stuff that he said in his original post. I hope not! I'm sure he said it better, anyway, even if that was the case.
posted
Actually, one of the most recent experiences I had that was better than sex was seeing !!! at Fabric the other weekend. Especially the bit when the two guys were doing all the grunting and groaning and worrying of each other. But then I was chemically enhanced that evening. And, er, they were sexy even in their 30+ pot bellied way. So in fact it was kinda sex related. Hmmm.
posted
Dinner with friends, DVD shopping, reading Heat - I prefer these all to sex. No, really. I do like making love, but that's more the cuddling and stuff. Gosh, I sound like a girl. A girl that don't fuck. Get this - I really don't like being blown. The asthetics are cool, but I just don't enjoy it. Sex is not very important to me. Maybe I should become a monk? Maybe I am dead? Posts: 5190
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Yeah, I think dancing to some utterly fine music, probably while chemically enhanced, and surrounded by friends, then the next tune that comes on is just the right one is a moment where you can just think "Yep, this is what its all about, Im having a pretty damn fine time here".
posted
Playing music is better than sex. One of the greatest moments of my life was taking to the stage at a battle of the bands, and not being really shit. Eight years later, the event's still crisply etched into my memory and is usually one of the first suggestions my mind throws up when someone mentions great memories/ moments of true joy/ proudest achievements/ best days etc.
Also - doing good work. It's been a while since I've written anything that's given me a particular buzz (longer ago, even, than the last time I had sex), but the satisfaction gleaned from doing my best work can leave me with a giddy sensation that's intangibly thrilling and mightily satisfying.
I'll also go along with Physic's suggestion of sitting and laughing and enjoying people's companies as potentially one of the great sensations. So you know. Yeah. VP once said she thought sex was 'over-rated', but that was when she was sleeping with me.
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posted
I have come to the conclusion that I'm not really as interested in sex as everyone else seems to be, as I probably would have made more effort to get myself some by now.
People do seem to go on about it an awful lot, not just in mewling-rage-face inducing glossy magazines.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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posted
Probably the most obnoxious thing about those magazines and their attitude to sex is the way they attempt to colonise what ought to be the most intimate zone of our days and nights and reduce it to an element of 'lifestyle'. Of course, no lifestyle is worthy of the name without - as Astro points out - a whole battery of accessories, assumptions and poses... which those media are, naturally, only too keen to peddle.
I don't know, maybe I'm full of shit. Proposing some sort of equally bogus "healthy" Lawrentian authenticity in reaction to the spewing, bawling, airbrushed festival of toddlerwank that passes for the public discourse of sex in August 2004.
I don't suppose it helps that I'm saying this on an internet forum, adding to the millions of pages of empty chatter about (weary inverted comma fingers) "sex" that seem to feed and feed on the marketing leviathan I'm complaining about. Perhaps - even now - these sentiments are being absorbed and assimilated by the great machine... resulting, six months down the line in Honest Fuck - the CityBreak experience for lovers who want to escape the sexual rat-race.
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posted
I have been completely switched off recently. The new lay of decay could be fucking metal mickey and she wouldn't know or realise it. Stephen Hawkins could do a more realistic attempt at sounding sincere, but maybe I'm just paranoid (android)
This is what happens when people are too keen. Or sixteen.
quote:Originally posted by ben: ...six months down the line in Honest Fuck - the CityBreak experience for lovers who want to escape the sexual rat-race.
Ho. MrsX was involved only yesterday in preliminary discussions to market York as a top place for romantic breaks. Perhaps she should incorporate some of this thinking into the proposals? I can see it now...
-------------------- i wrote for luck - they sent me you Posts: 3505
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quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: People do seem to go on about it an awful lot, not just in mewling-rage-face inducing glossy magazines.
Did anyone happen to stumble across the singularly shite Pagans "history" documentary last night? I watched some 20 minutes of it, including the bizarre sight of a slim and attractive female Professor of Woad Studies explaining Pagan methods of painting themselves blue by using the, er, blue bits of the Woad plant mixed with various fixants.
These fixants included lard. Cue slim and attractive female Professor of Woad Studies rubbing lard onto her bare arm while explaining that the Pagans would, of course, be naked while doing this and subtly implying that she usually was as well if only you television people weren't so bloody prudish.
Then she revealed that another common fixant was semen and the camera panned up her arm to a new patch of blue Woad which wasn't there just now. Was there some editing going on there? They then went on about semen for what I imagine was the rest of the programme although I turned it off at the adverts so they might have got onto something else later on. It did beg the question, How much semen do you need to paint a Pagan chap blue? Did they all stand around wanking over each other, or did they sort of store three loads in a wine glass and hope that London didn't get to it first?
Well, anyway, it was a fucking stupid programme which used terms like "Ethnic Cleansing" when describing Boadicca's attack on Colchester or wherever it was, and referring to them as "The British Forces". History has just about burned itself out on the telly now, even when they use sex at every opportunity.
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