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I really do look like a fucking retard in that photo. Fortunately the days of me looking like a total brainless spastic in photos are long gone.
This is a fantastic photo. I can imagine it as a still from an Albanian movie about deserting Nazi soldiers on the Eastern front, trying to find an Allied unit to surrender to. They get hopelessly lost and hole up in a deserted village. They wake up one morning in a creaky old barn, confronted by this child cackling maniacally, the sound of scythes being sharpened in the near-distance, the terrified bleating of goats and claustrophobic cello music.
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10 years old. Fark. Where is Ben and Rick? And Raz? Why was Kovacs not Terrier for the anniversary posting? Who is Benway now? Or where is Benway? I am (or was) 69Comeback Elvis, but I lost my password. I was going to email D and ask for it back but, chuh, y'know. I didn't. Thank you for all the lovely fun with words and the feeling of knowing. Thank you D. Thank you Mrs D. I am currently at a conference. Ha. Life. Still shit.
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For the record, I don't check here that often; I haven't been waiting around for months, silenty watching in case Elvis posts. Honest.
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I imagine it's a conference about how to sell mortgages to Ringo. Hopefully it's away from home and you get some action Brian. For all of us.
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I wish it was about mortgages. I wish I got some action. I wish for all of you. It's about bollocks and I'm sat in my room with some cooling chips and a half eaten deadline.
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I don't think either of those archives have the TMO Moider thread - I think it died in a crash long, long ago. It may be not be that much of a loss - there have probably been a lot better threads in the seven or eight years since. If Elvis is particularly interested in re-living his past genius maybe his email 'sent' box is a better place to start.
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Here's what Kovacs had to say about the Moider TMO Wrote, back in 2004:
quote:Yeah we should all dream of having a newbie who can inspire the boards to a "TMOPanto". For the sake of the little Jesus, what low ideals you have! Maybe you also fondly hope that this newbie will reinvigorate the "From Dusk Til Dawn" marathon of embarrassment, where the community's less-talented writers pretended to be interacting in a pub, or the TMO Murder thread, which was like listening to a bunch of no-hopers from a "Find Your Prose Voice" creative workshop playing Cluedo on the radio.
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When I read through the archives after searching for my own name, a single malt in one hand, a penis approaching its fifth decade (still sturdy ((sometimes))) in the other, I can't help but wonder how I ever found the time to churn out so much...stuff. I never really did respond to everything but by Jove I'd have completed a few jigsaws had I been born twenty years earlier.
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I had absolutely no idea till today that Konnie Huq and Charlie Brooker are actually a married couple in real life.
Did you know that?
In days gone by I'd have come to TMO for such information, along with an enthusiastically off-colour discussion about which other celebrities should be married, which ones should be killed, and which ones should just be bummed with a cabbage.
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quote:Originally posted by dang65: I had absolutely no idea till today that Konnie Huq and Charlie Brooker are actually a married couple in real life.
I mentioned their relationshup on a TMO thread a few week-months ago, but Benway said "Who cares?", so that was the end of that. I'm surprised and a little disappointed that you missed it though, dang.
ETA: *Here you go. I found the link for you, so you can catch up. Apparently Benway didn't even put a question mark at the end of his "who cares" - presumably in order to show just how little he cared about the Brooker-Huq relationship.
Ahh, thanks for the link Thorn. I wish my email sent box were full of cleverness. It is, of course, full of balls. Talking of which, did I tell you I met a porn actor the other day? A genuine one. Very bizarre. She was all about ponies and giggles and happy bubbles. But when she left a leery chap dripped across our table and explained the career choice. Googled it. He was right. Any hole's a goal is her strap line. Imagine having a strap line. Not that one, obvy. Not that I'm judging. Doesn't work for men: you would have to play with a very small football to score in the jappy. My point is, she wasn't what I expected an adult film actor to be, until someone pointed it out and then I thought 'oh yeah, she did kinda talk about ponies a lot'. Like Jordan, you see. I wonder if many people in that line of work like to lose themselves in tweenage fantasy?
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I remember years ago you said that you had some assignment where you basically had to go up to homeless people and ask them why they didn't get a job or something like that.
Did you ever do that and how did it turn out?
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I've offered my opinion about why the forum is not as enjoyable as it was: it comes down in my view to an unhappy combination of claustrophobia - what you post is now taken as a personal slight by many people, rather than as the anything-goes textuality of earlier times - and anarchy, with so many stupid fake names and newcomers that nobody would ever open up as they did not long ago on the "do you want children" thread. At one point, for maybe six months, there was a happy medium between these points, where you could feel relaxed to both confide personal stories and express honest but negative opinion. For whatever reasons to do with virtual and real-life community, I feel that balance evolved and then eroded.
Coupled with that, I think it may be inevitable that, with (say) ten topics raised every day on Life alone, after a year you run out of things to discuss. People starting threads on topics that have already been done to death are, unsurprisingly, ignored, patronised or slighted. If you sat in All Bar One from 9-5 every day with basically the same group of people, I think you might face this situation a lot earlier in the game - it's all been done, so what's left but dismal threads about "should I use drugs again", "I'm happy with my life, wat about u", "list your favourite sandwich fillings" and so on. The "how do we revive the forum" thread is becoming a thriving subgenre of its own.
I know I am regarded as someone who just loves to hate and hurt, and I am not even attempting to offer solutions here. However, I think the feeling of pointlessness around the boards comes down to burn-out from being with the same people a lot of the time for a long time, and that everything else - the witless threads, the sometimes desperate attempts at novelty, the dressing-up and introspection - stems from that.
Knock me if you like, I'm entirely used to it; but I am at least bothering to identify what I think the actual problem is.
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