posted
Writing about work colleagues is a ritual of internet bulletin boards. The people I work with, as some of you know are evangelists. I was asked to go to the church but after missing the oppurtunity four times in a row, I have never been asked again. My punishment it seems, is some most humorous schoolyard behaviour. I can laugh about it, because I am above their petty games. *VAAAaaaaaRRRTT* The machine relating to height related puns is off the scale!
Mary: *in barely audible tones* Michael.
*long pause*
Mary: *same tiny quiet voice, imagine it being said like 'marble* Michael.
Mary: *shrieking* MICHAEL!!
Me: wuh? Mary?
Mary: wha yo canno hear me?
Everyone starts laughing like a great joke has been played on me. I mean, real dramatics. Slapping thighs and wiping brows with long 'eeeeeewooooeeeee' noises.
Me: Guys. I'm deaf in my left ear. I tell you every. Day. The air conditioner is behind me, if you need to tell me something, kindly do so. To the correct ear yeah? Either email me or get up and talk to me properly. It's just rude.
Everyone looks away. No-one ever bothers to look me in the eye when I finally engage them. Then sparks a big debate about the 'science' of hearing. Basically I sit on the far right of of a desk of five people. The only person I can hear sits to my left. She bawls at me when I am on the phone usually. Then when I pull my headset off, she'll just mutter under her breath.
Next day
Tommy: *quite as a mouse fart* Michael
Some time passes
Tommy: Michael, did you cascade that information I sent you?
Me: What information?
Tommy: You weren't listening to me?
Me: *exploding* I've been here for about 6 weeks now and every SINGLE DAY you guys mutter at me and then start screaming at me asking "can you not be bothered to listen to me?" I am DEAF in this ear *points* I. Wear. A. Headset. On this ear. *more pointing* I cannot hear you because the air conditioning emits an annoying hum! Why must we talk about this everyday? Do you not understand what being deaf is? It's not partial hearing. Shouting at me won't make it any easier to hear. It does. not. work. [python]it is an ex-ear[/python] Why must you all be so inconsiderate?
Why? Why must we talk about this everyday? Do you mock people in wheelchairs too? WHY?
They are all looking at me. This is probably the fifth time they've done it today as well.
Tommy: *grinning* I'll talk to you when you calm down.
Email sent to my colleague, Nicola:
It's hard really to have any time for your colleagues when after having the same conversation every day for a month over and over The way I am treated? With a smirk and 'I'll talk to you when you calm down' like as if somehow I am the one who is acting ignorant. Not an apology, or an understanding, just well............ mocking tones?!
Nicola's reply:
i think he was joking...he hadnt told u about any issues at all....
Gnh!!!
What kind of sadists do I work with? I can see them from the window now. They are wrestling the guy with withered legs to the floor.
So, I don't really want great stories about work colleagues. No. I want to hear petty things your colleagues do that irritate you to high heaven. Tell me about the little things they do that annoys you.
Other favourites of mine are this: People who write you and casually sign their name with just one letter.
The arseholes at Foxtons who never say thank you when you open the door for them (oh and by god you should hear the conversations they have in the lift. Face clawingly punchworthy)
When people feedback to you via email in a manner that is far from appropriate. An example, 'what am i a mind reader??!!?! no user on here!!?!! fill this in properly!!!???' Which usually have me trying desperately not to say 'The users details are attached. Perhaps if you look with your EYES instead of your MIND you'll be able to get it right first time, you plimpton' Everyone knows the email should go like this:
Hi Mike, What are the users details? I can't find them.
Bob, The details are within the excel file
Mike, You are god and Tina from Accounts got a moisty just thinking about you.
So come on TMO, it's Friday. What are you wearing?
posted
That's not petty, dude, that's outrageous - really disgraceful behavour. If I had a total lapse of reason, and said something like that to someone - mocking them for being deaf - then I'd spend the rest of my days praying that they didn't make a formal complaint, because I'd expect to get sacked as a result. It's that serious. If it's bugging you - and of course it would - you could always go speak to the HR department. Honestly, you shouldn't have to put up with that shit.
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
posted
lol excellent. My work colleagues are all ok, but then again I rarely talk to them. I just sit in the corner with my headphones on staring at my screen most of the time. Sometimes there's an awkward moment when I pass one on the way to the toilet and I have to pretend that I'm looking at something over by the door or scrabble for my mobile phone and pretend that I just got a text message > look down, unlock phone, frown, thumb buttons randomly and I'm past.
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posted
I'm just starting to feel a bit like 'fuck it' about people I work with these days. Saying anything to anyone will be be met with the agency saying 'gosh that's appalling' and they'll move me into some other cruddy position. See, I'm trying to stick with this position for two reasons: 1.) I am thinking about OU and whether I could start fitting that into my routine. 2.) It is a sit tight and fly right job. One I could stay in for a long time and my current CV isn't getting me any permanent positions, which I need to get out of temp hell.
Fortunately I can get away with ignoring them when they actually need something from me, which is sweet, sweet revenge.
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: One I could stay in for a long time and my current CV isn't getting me any permanent positions, which I need to get out of temp hell.
Have you tried ringing the companies that you want to work for yet? Did you gain much in the way of feedback?
Backontopic: I work solely with a Director, who - even when asked the simplest of questions ie; do you want anything from the shop? or, Would you like a brew, as I am going to make a cup of tea? - will blabber on for minutes on end about something that derived an inkling of relevance from my question, before rattling on to his finale about how his [golf] driving is giving him nightmares* and how it is ruining his personal life.
Soon he will die and, fortunately for him, the torment caused by his nine iron will affect him no more.
*Apparently, he's struggling to "hit the ball straight off the tee", or something.
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: Have you tried ringing the companies that you want to work for yet? Did you gain much in the way of feedback?
Not yet. I'm not sure who I want to work for to be honest. I don't know what to do with my life! Although I have been sitting on a backup plan: I've been looking at various courses and education and trying to see which ones look suitable for me.
posted
ooh it's all kicking off in my little hotbed. Boss is away. Ad sales man takes piss by having long, drunken lunch, phones office manager saying he'll be 'working from home', despite no internet connection. Heavily implies she mustn't tell boss. OM cross. Next morning salesman comes in and asks for messages, which he would have got had he not left his mobile in the office. She tells him to F off. Salesman emails boss to say she should be sacked for swearing at him. OM sees email while checking for urgent tasks. Shit hits fan!
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posted
I like that someone told somebody else to fuck off. The idea that it happens in an office of all places. I mean, what kind of situation do you get in to say fuck off? I've been in a few myself where a boss has got you in a really difficult position, being a complete arse, then talking down to you like a chimp. I've probably gone through this before, but when I had my contract terminated at BCA, it was because of a way I had spoken to the customer.....apparently.
The situation was thus: A customer had called through to a guy who worked in the sales team with me. I'm sorry I worked in sales everyone, but food in belly and all that. His name (lol) was Roy. He was a peaceful chap and used to push books to punters quite well, but whenever someone got upset, he caved in. Someone had called to speak to me regarding a transaction. They had a money dispute. Instead of (the usual procedure) of asking what the discrepancy is and crediting the customer back, he simply wrote down her account number and handed it to me. Upon calling her she was yelling at me, saying that she hadn't asked me to take 60 pounds from her card and she had asked to pay much less. 'How much woould you liked to have paid?' I asked. She doesn't remember. Now the bill wasn't even either, it came to something like 61.72 or something like that. So I am trying to offer the lady back the money when she launches into song about how I've been stealing her money and (more lol) 'going around the town, spending it frivelously on whatever I wanted' I was mortified at first but I did a sort of exasperated giggle when she said this. I had actually refunded her 30 pounds immediately to her account and she still started shouting at me. I told her that the company wad something like 6 million members so I wouldn't have personal access to someones money. I mean, old, senile or not, you know if there was a way I was going to steal some money, I might have a pound off each member rather than 30 quid off the poorest one.
So the boss, says she will listen to the original phone recording and see what happened. Well, the phone recordings were flanged and she could only recall my last phone call. She took me asside and was saying 'I think you need more training' and I was gabberflasted. She advised me the tape had me being scronful, mocking and laughing at her. Sounds like fun, but it was the opposite of what was happened. 'You need to take ownership of your calls'
BOOM.
The Mikee-Mind-Flip. 'Firstly' I said 'I did not take the call. Roy did. So the ownership should have began and ended there. He should have returned her money, apologised and passed on the information for us to see what went wrong. Or you, my supervisior could have called up and settled it hassle free. I was put in the position to call her back and it never should have happened. I will not take ownership of that'
She started talking over me like a mother does her naughty child. I said loudly: 'if you want to take me aside to talk to me, then do so, I won't stand here and have you browbeat me in front of the rest of the staff. I have training now' and I was off. I felt righteous. I hate people in authority. The least competent members of staff are the worse for being told their conduct is wrong. They pull rank long before they accept a mistake.
She made the agency tell me my contract had ended after I had left the premises, the cowbag.
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I hate people in authority. The least competent members of staff are the worse for being told their conduct is wrong. They pull rank long before they accept a mistake.
I was transfering some files from a local machine to our live website. I didn't recognise one of the files in the log, so I asked my boss if it was ok to transfer. He replied "Yeah, sure, no problem" so I went ahead with the transfer. I was really busy with other stuff, an only transfering the files as a favour, so I clicked the button and got on with something else. A few moments later the entire website had collapsed as a result of some untested code in my boss's file.
Rather than apologise to me, he started laying into me about it.
"You should have checked it before you transfered it... Now look what's happened."
No. Sorry.
You changed the file. You made a mistake (again). You should have tested it. You should have transfered it. You cunt.
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quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: That's not petty, dude, that's outrageous - really disgraceful behavour. If I had a total lapse of reason, and said something like that to someone - mocking them for being deaf - then I'd spend the rest of my days praying that they didn't make a formal complaint, because I'd expect to get sacked as a result. It's that serious. If it's bugging you - and of course it would - you could always go speak to the HR department. Honestly, you shouldn't have to put up with that shit.
Thorn's right you know. Your employer should, if they had half an ounce of work place awareness, actually be looking at your working conditions to ensure your disability is handled in a way to help you do your job properly; such as moving your desk away from the noise and having you face the other workers so you can see them, or even hear them from the other ear. Have you informed the employer of your hearing problem and asked for a review of your work environment?
Your fellow workers should also have disability training because your employer is breaking the law if this is allowed to continue. I thought everyone was supposed to have their training renewed recently? Course you want to keep your job and don't want the hassle of losing your rag all the time - who would, so why don't you have a browse round the Disability Rights Commission website; it has advice on how to handle this kind of thing.
There's a culture of work place bullying and mockery and I loathe it. Plain good manners are out of fashion or something.
Sorry to be so serious but hell, it isn't right.
-------------------- A day without laughter is a day wasted. In memory of Alastair Posts: 1936
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posted
I think if your boss used 'u' instead of 'you' in an email reply to you regarding a complaint then, she is in fact, and I believe the medical term here should apply, a twat.
Bad luck mate, fuck 'em all, go postal.
-------------------- my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!
I finish a call and Nicola gets up out of her seat "come on she says. "Where are we going?" I ask. Tommy says "You should know better Mikee" and I'm thinking "what the fuck?" Upon leaving the room Nicola turns back and says "There's a bombscare" so I (as one of the fire marshalls) go back into the room I've just been dragged out of pick up my emergency vest and check which zones I have to clear up. I have to do a tour of the area and take the names of the people I work with. Before I even get time to do a headcount, they are back in the office, so I have to patiently wait for everyone to shuffle by and I get back up into the office. Tommy, who seems to think he is born with levels of wit, intelligence and divine wisdom is smiling at me and doing little "wooh, I can't believe what I saw" head shakes. Now, I'm no idiot, when someone is mocking or scorning or just having a laugh at your expense you are.....well you know, aware. So instantly I said "I don't know why you're laughing Johnny Chuckles, I've been stood in the courtyard expecting you to be part of a head count" and he just laughed.
I mean, upon walking out the security guy says "oh I forgot about your department" so if someone hadn't walked in and said anything, rather vaguely to the team we'd all have been sat in there. I mean, there isn't a bomb or anything, nobody is that mad at my company.
Right, I'll crack on with the story. I say "I didn't even hear there was an alert. I'd left the room before Nicola even told me"
Then, the statement that put me over the edge:
Tommy says cynically "You heard it"
"What?" Blood is rushing to my eyeballs now. I'm pretty sick of the mocking. I just look at him "Can you say that again? I want to at least hear this.
"You make me laugh" he says
"Oh because I'm funny like a Joe Pesci, Huh?"
I think I'd have been proud to this nod to popular gangster pop culture reference if he hadn't just looked pleased with himself and ignore me.
"Er, so you're just taking the piss huh?"
More silence. Tommy is sat looking real pleased with himself
He comes up later and it didn't go as expected.
"Mikeeeeeee. ... You're in a real mood with me today aren't ya?"
My neck snaps left involuntarily. My voice barks a response I haven't even thought out yet.
"Yes. Fucking amazing Tommy! You've worked out I'm unhappy with you. I wonder what it was that gave you that impression. Was it the mockery that I receive on the daily basis? The hilarious practical jokes of pretending you told me some great important information. Or was it that earlier on, the 50th most unfunny example of you falling around killing yourself laughing at absoloutely fuck all. I think mostly it's how you tried to tell me that I heard something that I clearly didn't" I got a bit heated then "Shall we go and tell the guy with the crippling disability on the second floor that he can actually walk shall we?! See how far we get with that?"
The thing that I find the most difficult thing is that it is almost impossible to combat this type of schoolyard behaviour. I've been in places of work where you start to think you are going mad. then you end up having a massive benny as your brain breaks. It's like....being made to go back to school! But nothing prepared me for what come next. Tommy, after instigating the conversation, maybe to try and act a bit cool and see how my mood was, then tries the act of hurt defense. He then tries to talk about how I am failing to do my job properly based on my unwillingness to go and listen to people when they shout out information. This isn't like someone sends an email to the team members, then stands up and says "right guys! we have a call change on the dunky doodad in the next hour so if our call centres ask, the server will be dropping in this time, it's not a fault" or some such guff. They just say it in a slightly raised tone. Or tell one person. Honestly, the information gets cascaded around like tired gossip.
It's all leading somewhere. I'm not sure yet, but gentile reader, it gets better. Tommy begins a line of reasoning. "You can hear me now yeah? How come is it you can hear me now then?"
Me, trying not to go fucking wild: "Well Tommy, because we are the only ones in the office. That and I have turned my chair 180 degrees round to listen to you speak to me"
and this is the best bit: Tommy musters up the fucking gall to say "You can hear, you just don't want to"
I went off the rails at that point. I explained that his behaviour frankly to try to tell me that I can actually hear and that I 'just don't want to' is possibly the most thoughtless and brain achingly fucking mongy thing I've heard someone suggest. I pointed out that singling me out, making fun of the problem and then trying to slag me off to shift the blame of some frankly ridiculous behaviour. I pointed out that as far as I am aware, we work for an equal opportunities employer and that his behaviour was dangerously close to misconduct.
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Tommy isn't talking to me now.
He is talking to you. You just don't want to hear.
Seriously though - even if there isn't a union, there must be someone you can talk to about your colleagues' ridiculous behaviour.
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posted
probably not as simple as that, but whatever.
you need to log what this asshole says. take it to management. hopefully he'll get fired. it's a pity we're not so litigious in this country (i'm not kidding. lack of punitive damages is a real shame) - if management don't act then cha-ching!
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posted
As a brainowner, just reading about this fucking guy is winding me up to the point where I'm almost shaking with rage. I agree that you should start noting this down, and then take it up with Human Remains, or your boss or someone, because this guy's a fucking bell-end.
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posted
Fuck. I can only echo what the others say re: reporting this cunt to higher management.
Unfortunately your complaint may fall upon deaf ears, as the current wave of political correctness lends far more weight to ethnic minorities' complaints about not being able to wear silly hats at work and suchlike.
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quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Nicola's reply:
i think he was joking...he hadnt told u about any issues at all....
I hadn't noticed this thread before now. All that guff I said last week about you trying to understand these people better - please disregard. I was completely wrong.
Your line manager is unprofessional and, patently, a moron. You need to keep a record of this stuff and go over her head.
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posted
I dunno, I think most companyies would be a bit scared of charges of disability discrimination. That's second surely only to being RACISTS!
I think you should do something about this Mikey because although you are laidback and able to see humour in any situation, this guy is a total nobber and needs to be officially told off before he does it to someone less able to cope.
Dates and details of incidences, plus doctor's cert of your medical condition- 1 copy to HR, 1 copy to your line manager there.
EXTRA: I just got phoned by someone in the Expenses Office querying £2.09 (two pounds ninepence) on a claim form. I nearly laughed and hung up. I wish I had.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: I dunno, I think most companyies would be a bit scared of charges of disability discrimination. That's second surely only to being RACISTS!
I think you should do something about this Mikey because although you are laidback and able to see humour in any situation, this guy is a total nobber and needs to be officially told off before he does it to someone less able to cope.
In addition, you should not shower for a couple of days then go into work really early one morning and wipe your bell-end round the rim of this guy's favourite mug. That way, regardless of how your employer reacts, you will have 'won'.
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posted
So it turns out the sales manager in my office is an alcoholic tempazeman addict with epilepsy-induced blackouts, set off by alcohol. He goes AWOL, or spends the day pissed, emailing rubbish to clients. And apparently losing £100Ks worth of revenue. Spectacular mad lunchtime display on Friday, after which he fell asleep in his chair all afternoon, after downing a bottle of wine straight from the fridge. He's been escorted from the premises.
ETA: surely HR can have something to say about mongy temps too?
quote:Originally posted by ben: Your line manager is unprofessional and, patently, a moron. You need to keep a record of this stuff and go over her head.
Problem: the guy in question actually is only a temp too, the other two who usually join in are permanent members. In my experience, it only causes pain doing the right thing. Until I can find myself another department, I am going to have to run my current software on my Mikex Operating System:
posted
Mikey - in this day and age any behaviour of this sort is completely unforgiveable. You should not stand for it - if the purp is a temp, is there any chance he is through the same agency? If so complain to them if you feel uncomfortable about going to the boss. But if you want to go around this the right way, swallow any thoughts of bottling it up, and write a formal email to the boss, cc: your agency and if possible the HR people. Politely point out this disgusting behaviour, how it is making you feel and that you shouldn't have to put up with it. I am pretty sure if the manager rebukes it there are grounds for legal action, and this he should understand - believe me if he has an ounce of sense in him he will take this seriously.
Don't stand for it - stand up for yourself instead .
posted
Thanks everymon, I really should just raise the issue so nobody decides to fuck with me anymore. All I want to do is earn my days pay and fuck off home again.
posted
In addition to bell-end fun, follow Sidney's shining example, and stick his favourite pen up your bottom, then return it to his pen pot.
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quote:Originally posted by ben: In addition, you should not shower for a couple of days then go into work really early one morning and wipe your bell-end round the rim of this guy's favourite mug. That way, regardless of how your employer reacts, you will have 'won'.
quote:Originally posted by ralph: If you want people to stop fucking with you permanently, you should kill Tommy. Or at least put a good hurtin' on him.
Don't you start, felix's first question was 'Is he very big?' - I was like 'you can't go around beating people up because they are fucking idiots' and his first response was 'yes you can'
posted
I'm annoyed with the fact that I've just been told to take all the pictures of Nigerians out of a presentation becuase the person it's going to be given at thinks that Nigerians are corrupt and we consequently don't want to be associated with them. That's annoying me quite alot at the moment.
Apart from the, er, racial issue, it's left me with the problem of describing a project to improve quality of life of Nigerians without actually showing them being happy etc. Also the last slide is "A triumph of international co-operation", and is going to look ridiculous if it's only got white people in it.
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