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So if you were going to encourage the discussion a little more, which direction would you take it in? Just for the record, like.
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At the risk of sounding gey as, well more than usual anyway, I would say that I have found solace on these boards during difficult times, particularly back when, as a relative newbie, I was foolish enough to get all vocally lovesick over the travelling Ms Damage. I was grateful for both the kind words and and the abuse I received at the time, they both helped in different ways – easing the pain and smacking me upside the head respectively.
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I rarely offer words of support. This is not because I don't wish to in some cases. Rather, I find the stand-offish persona I am developing wouldn't allow it and any kind of advice would come over as sarky anyway. This is at odds with the personality of the driver of Vanilla Online Persona Enterprises but since I'm not investing in TMO in the way that many people are, to turn round and get all personal would be disrespectful to those that have.
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: So if you were going to encourage the discussion a little more, which direction would you take it in? Just for the record, like.
Well, I suppose I'd repost the main query:
I wonder if there's an interesting thread concept there; like, list ways TMO has helped you when you've been down. Or are all the hugz and cries of 'hang in there m9' just so much empty ASCII bullshit?
And then, as the answers flooded in, as of course they would, I'd then play devil's advocate and ask about times when TMO might have hindered - when a cruel word here in cyberspace could have had a detrimental effect on real life... whether cyber-relationships can diminish your real ones to a harmful degree...
quote:Originally posted by ben: I regret calling Thorn a "fucking twerp" yesterday.
Whenever I read these heated exchanges on TMO I think to myself "I wish the pundits of Radio 4 and Newsnight would talk to each other like that". You never hear Melvyn Bragg call David Starkey a fucking twerp.
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I don't think my sister ever got over the thing Thorn said about her posting 'sub-chicklit about her goddamn fucking kittens'. Posts: 6175
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I've been upset loads of times by comments posted on the boards. Although that's more to do with my periods of extreme fragility than anyone's particularly cutting comments.
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That was only a week or so after I'd upset Raz as well. They were both at this meat and Raz was saying that he'd basically stopped posting because I'd said something "Haha - look Raz has said he won't go to the meat if Modge is there", or something equally sarcastic. Uber was all like "Raz don't take it so personally. It's just Thorn doing his thing". So a couple of weeks later and Bam! I make a similarly flip comment at Uber Trick and then she's also all like "Bwaah!". I thought she understood.
So, you know, I wouldnt expect ben to feel bad about calling me a 'fucking twerp'. There's very little said on here that I'd take personally. I mean, it's all quite vanilla compared to my very first days where pretty much everyone seemed to genuinely hate me an want me off the boards.
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Whether I look to TMO for solace depends on how much of a board 'entity' I'm feeling. Of late, I've been aware of slipping into non-entity status, so feel less entitled to join in general 'my life is shit, please console me and tell me I'm gr9' threads.
Also, the less of an entity I feel, the more no-doubt-gently meant commets sting, such as Ben's 'go on, post your useless idea you mong, we could all do with a laugh' comment the other day.
I do however find solace in the fact that people more talented and acerer than I have similar 'issues' with career, self-esteem, etc, so nah.
All of the above sounds like self-pitying horse-wank. Let it be plain I do not require consolation.
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I do sometimes bitch about things on the board - voice my frustrations - but that's all it is. If anybody actually responds to me going O life is unfair, then it makes me feel like I've just gone TMO, tell me I'm great!, which then in turn makes me feel like a ****, even though I never actually intended that. If you see what I mean. Those of you who have the misfortune to know me will know that I moan and whine 70-80% of the time, but can usually keep cheerful about it.
On the flipside, I don't tend to take things personally on the boards. I get a bit concerned if I realise I've backed myself into a corner where I've started arguing against what I actually think. But I do get overheated if I argue against thorn. So I'm not doing that any more.
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we're not so different, you and i...
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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I don't remember ever being genuinely properly upset by anything anyone's said to me on here. I don't think. The only time I remember being genuinely upset was when I honestly thought I'd genuinely pissed off Astro. That gave me a bit of a twitching anxiety for a bit. I mean Astro fer fuck's sake. How could anyone have been cruel to Astro?
I'm more likely to get pissed off with myself for being a twat/ disappearing up my own pomposity and I remember a couple of occasions where I've fucked off for a while because I've not liked the way I've started sounding.
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Infinite Jones once upset me so much I actually had to leave work early for the day, but that was kind of different.
I dunno, when I started posting here more again after Christmas, it wasn't so much that I wanted to hear 'hang in there m9'. I think it was just comfort, familiarity, acceptance... and also this sudden expanse of free time...and there's TMO, waiting, just jogging along, like that friend you only call when you're single.
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: I mean, it's all quite vanilla compared to my very first days where pretty much everyone seemed to genuinely hate me an want me off the boards.
lol, those were the days! I joined a few days after you. It was perfect timing really because it was a fairly tight-knit community and you sort of barged in and made such a noise nobody noticed me slip in behind you (arf!). It was the online equivalent of gate-crashing a party, drinking all the booze and throwing up on the couch.
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when i was mugged i was really upset that only four people said anything. i felt like a ghost that noone could see. and then i got upset with myself for relying on tmo for ascii- hugs when i had plenty of real- life people being nice to me, and giving me real hugs, with pats on the back and rubs on head and things. it was very silly. i dont hang out on tmo when im feeling low any more, because i then i can feel like noone is interested in my life now i am not kooky and funny and chaotic and angry but just trundling along with my knitting and my rambles and my not drinking and trying to get by like normal people. which is of course totally all in my own head, and me mourning a version of myself which had become redundant and counter- productive, but which seemed a lot more engaging somehow.
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quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: when i was mugged i was really upset that only four people said anything. i felt like a ghost that noone could see. and then i got upset with myself for relying on tmo for ascii- hugs when i had plenty of real- life people being nice to me, and giving me real hugs, with pats on the back and rubs on head and things. it was very silly. i dont hang out on tmo when im feeling low any more, because i then i can feel like noone is interested in my life now i am not kooky and funny and chaotic and angry but just trundling along with my knitting and my rambles and my not drinking and trying to get by like normal people. which is of course totally all in my own head, and me mourning a version of myself which had become redundant and counter- productive, but which seemed a lot more engaging somehow.
Isn't your life always interesting on TMO because you write it really well and make it sound extremely funny and clever and interesting to read, rather than because of what you're actually doing with the life itself, DD? That's what I always thought anyway.
Sorry to hear you were mugged. The mugging was so snugly and casually woven into your post that I thought you were totally over the event.
I hope the fact the you have just posted means that you are not feeling low and are totally your excellent self again.
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:shame: Like, yeah... the mugging incident was kinda glossed through, without a definite timeframe, and you sounded so jolly, that I wasn't sure if it had really happened, or when, or if you minded. That's shit though. Soz.
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I thought I'd posted to say I was sorry to hear it, but I think I just had an internal rant about how shit muggers are. I mean, at least burglars show a little audacity and bravery (of a sort) in breaking into a house, but grabbing a bag and running off is just really lazy and lame. Especially when you're not really likely to get more than about £50 in cash, a few cards that will be cancelled quickly and maybe a phone (how much do sim cards go for? £30?) I mean, it's the minimum wage of crime. Thievery for Work Experience kids. Rubbish. So yeah, I got angry on your behalf Disco.
What worries me is when someone on TMO says something nice to or about me, and I get absurdly pleased. Often (if I haven't been fortunate enough to have partaken of a pleasing dump) it is the nicest thing that happens to me all day.
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That didn't work, as you have no idea what I look like today.
So the nicest thing to happen to me today remains the massive chunk of "chocolate indulgance" cake I ate for elevensies.
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Whenever anything bad or nice happens to me, and I post about it, at least some people will think I'm either lying or exaggerating or making a "deadpan" joke of it, so there's generally a smattering of uncertain yeah-right, and cruel humour, and some tentative sincerity just in case.
Of course, this is all of my own making; it does mean I wouldn't really go to TMO for sympathy, reassurance or congratulations. My relationship with the community isn't straight enough for that. Maybe because it sometimes seems a bit of a love-hate thing, though, it connects with me when someone (usually Thorn) does make an honestly appreciative or positive comment.
I was very touched on my 33rd birthday when I got a thread full of apparently-affectionate tribute. I saved all those posts and still have them on the hard drive of my new computer. So, thanks and I remember that.
In a guilty way I'm always quite proud if someone remembers a verbal barb I crafted ages back, though occasionally (eg. with Astro) I am subsequently sorry I've actually upset them with it. People slagging me usually only riles me short-term, though I do have a kind of kill-file of people I'm never going to forgive for their insolence, eg. can't remember his name now but that guy who invited loads of you up to his house for a "meet" which was actually his attempt at having a ghastly orgy. Sounds like Squeegy but it isn't. Or did it sound like Louche... oh well. I think my terrible memory is undermining my "kill-file" so I'm not much to worry about.
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