not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
posted
Oh hippy here is a page of Masturbation mistakes which may sate your appetite.
quote:With an RC truck
I was fooling around with my battery-operated RC truck. It was upside down and has little bumps on the tires of the truck. I wanted to know how it felt on my cock, so I tried it for a little bit. Unfortunately, it gradually caused me to bleed on the head of my cock. You can barely see the scar now, but it wasn't smart using my RC truck. It hurt and I never did it again!
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You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
posted
lol
quote:With magnets
One time I put two neodymium magnets on each side of my scrotum. They slammed together and the magnetic force was so tremendous I couldn't remove them without tools. I took two pairs of pliers and pulled like hell. They came off but I couldn't feel my sack until the next day, when it hurt like hell.
posted
That was a nice little burst of energy wasn't it? It's how I'd imagine sex to be as you get older - all that pumping unsustainable enthusiasm. A few crazy minutes of bucking up and down doing 'Vivien press-ups' and saying "Oh yeah!" through a mouthful of lady jowl, then you're spent - all sweaty and embarrassed, elbow drawing across you beer gut in shame, fingers tiptoeing towards the relief of the light switch and the sanctuary of darkness. Nothing to say to one another. Yeah, that's how I'd imagine it.
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You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
posted
That site has some useful info on it. I also like the secret meaning of Halloween costumes
quote:Pimp – Guys who dress up like pimps are often masking insecurities about their masculinity or sexuality. They want other people to see them as a player with wealth, power, and command over women, when in fact they are weak, ineffectual, or simply shy.
posted
This is also useful, at least it is for weird people, like Satanists and the French.
quote: How to queef
For women who want to queef at will, we recommend the following technique. Get completely undressed from the waist down. Lie down on your bed or the floor (the bed will probably be more comfortable). Put your legs up in the air and spread them. Reach between your legs and spread your labia apart with your fingers so you feel the breeze on your pussy. Relax your pelvic and vaginal muscles as much as possible. It may help to do a few Kegel exercises, where you clench and hold your vaginal muscles and then release them.
When you’re ready and relaxed, roll back on your shoulders and raise your legs up higher and spread them wider. Push down with your pelvic muscles. Inhale deeply, then exhale sharply from your diaphragm (the diaphragm in your ribcage, not the diaphragm in your pussy). The forceful exhalations will help suck air into your pussy. Repeat this several times and you may queef in the upright position. Otherwise, try it until you feel like you have some air in there and then quickly bring your legs together and lower them. This should produce a queef.
quote:Dear RSA, My roommate goes out with a lot of different girls. He apparently picked up crabs from one of them. He used some special soap and said he got rid of them, but now I'm starting to feel all itchy too. Am I just being paranoid? It's not like I ever touched him or anything, or wore his underwear. Could his fleas have hopped onto me? Tad, U. of Michigan
For women who want to queef at will, we recommend the following technique. Get completely undressed from the waist down. Lie down on your bed or the floor (the bed will probably be more comfortable). Put your legs up in the air and spread them. Reach between your legs and spread your labia apart with your fingers so you feel the breeze on your pussy. Relax your pelvic and vaginal muscles as much as possible. It may help to do a few Kegel exercises, where you clench and hold your vaginal muscles and then release them.
When you’re ready and relaxed, roll back on your shoulders and raise your legs up higher and spread them wider. Push down with your pelvic muscles. Inhale deeply, then exhale sharply from your diaphragm (the diaphragm in your ribcage, not the diaphragm in your pussy). The forceful exhalations will help suck air into your pussy. Repeat this several times and you may queef in the upright position. Otherwise, try it until you feel like you have some air in there and then quickly bring your legs together and lower them. This should produce a queef.
Well it beats sitting on your arse watching tv. And IKEA, natch.
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posted
No matter how hard I think on it, I don't think I've ever put my tiddler anywhere other than the usual places (mouth, hand, fanny [US & UK]). It's simply never occurred to me to try anything else.
I did once use toothpaste to lubricate it. Man, that was a mistake. I felt like the end had been put in a cigar chopper; this freezing burn shooting up my groin and me trying to suppress a scream so no-one in the family came running to help. So. Toothpaste is a big no-no. I bet it tasted nice, mind, but as I was only 14 I couldn't find anyone willing to take advntage of the mistake.
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posted
I haven't put mine anywhere other than inside human beings. I feel a bit vanilla. I am in the house alone, though. Can anyone suggest a household object they would like me to enter and then report back here about?
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: Hey Roy, can you answer this poser:
quote:Dear RSA, My roommate goes out with a lot of different girls. He apparently picked up crabs from one of them. He used some special soap and said he got rid of them, but now I'm starting to feel all itchy too. Am I just being paranoid? It's not like I ever touched him or anything, or wore his underwear. Could his fleas have hopped onto me? Tad, U. of Michigan
Dear Tad,
Your roomate is fucking you in your sleep. He has made you, to use the prison slang, "his bitch".
You can only be straight again if you murder him. The more gruesome the murder the more hetrosexual you will be.
![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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