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As much as I hate to agree with Ben, the above post does make you sound like one hell of a prick.
Perhaps you should think about going on a defensive driving course, because I genuinely think your road rage might become dangerous if you don't get a handle on it soon.
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I had a bout of WalkRage yesterday, and am considering therapy. Walking through a tube station a girl overtook me in a very bag-banging kind of way, then walked slowly in front of me. I walked as close behind her as I could, then overtook her on the escalator. Which was big and clever, I think you'll agree.
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How about DeskRage? I just slammed my phone down so hard that two plastic bits broke off.
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quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Perhaps you should think about going on a defensive driving course, because I genuinely think your road rage might become dangerous if you don't get a handle on it soon.
Ahem, I didn't demonstrate any act(s) of road rage this morning. As I said, I simply ignored the ogre. Before anyone says, "why didn't you move across into the middle lane" - I couldn't. Therefore, I concentrated fully on the drive ahead and blotted out the impending danger the prick behind was presenting.
ETA: The rageful thoughts that followed were once I'd vacated my car, thus cannot be attributed to any 'road rage'.
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: How about DeskRage? I just slammed my phone down so hard that two plastic bits broke off.
deskrage and phonerage are the best sorts i've thrown phones thru windows, against walls, across rooms etc. it felt great. uhmm until i began to feel guilty. not that i have a temper or anything.
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I spend most of my time on the underground gently boiling with undisclosed rage at people who walk about gawping at things like they've just come fresh from a lobotomy.
Last week this elderly chinese couple stood next to each other on the escalators, so that I couldn't walk down. I stood right behind the chinese woman and whispered 'if you don't move your bony **** out of my way I'm going to kick you all the way onto the fucking tracks you fucking chinese whore'. Obviously, being chinese, she couldn't understand me, so I had to shove her out the way. It way funny. She was holding her husband's hand, and she was so light that she kind swung out my way like a saloon door, but then dragged her bird-like hubby down with her. They both tumbled to the bottom of the steps with their luggage, and lay there, being scraped by the stairs at the bottom lip of the escalator. I got a couple of years worth of rage out there.
[ 21.06.2006, 05:03: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: Ahem, I didn't demonstrate any act(s) of road rage this morning. As I said, I simply ignored the ogre. Before anyone says, "why didn't you move across into the middle lane" - I couldn't. Therefore, I concentrated fully on the drive ahead and blotted out the impending danger the prick behind was presenting.
ETA: The rageful thoughts that followed were once I'd vacated my car, thus cannot be attributed to any 'road rage'.
You showed some restraint which is admirable I suppose, but I don’t think you can reasonably say you actually ignored the chap behind you, because it’s clearly wound you up something chronic. Obviously you do suffer from acute road rage and while you managed to keep it under control this time, how long is it until you do something stupid and end up doing something regrettable?
Seriously, there are ways of approaching the situation which will help ease the stress of driving. You clearly have a bit of a problem and I think you should address it before it gets out of hand.
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quote:Originally posted by Ringo: You clearly have a bit of a problem and I think you should address it before it gets out of hand.
I'd prefer to commute by train, to be honest. I used to love chilling out, reading a book, listening to some decent music and generally enjoying a completely stress-free start to a usually hectic day at work. Unfortunately this isn't an option for where I work currently, so I have to endure tiring stretches of busy motorway driving. It's not long before such a routine and experiencing the same selfish attitudes day-in, day-out, leads to one becoming extremely fed up and pessimistic about the whole process. However, upon reflection, I have become those drivers that I initially fucking hated.
I do agree that I probably ought to consider other methods of stifling these feelings of rage. A passenger punch bag could be a winner. Or perhaps a nice, early morning toke on a Turkish peace pipe could prove to be a fruitful option. Think I've run out of apricot tobacco cubes though.
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Just saying, I am not Zygote, and Zygote isn't me.
I have argued about motorway speed limits before, and have on occasion tailgated the witless moron who might be doing sixty on the outside lane of an empty motorway. I do get a little bit annoyed when I an on the inside lane and find myself moving across the entire width of the motorway and back again to overtake a middle lane crawler - it is doubly irritating when you have some dingbat tootling along on the third lane on one of the four-lane sections of the M25, for instance.
FWIW I truly believe that people need to be given lessons and an official examination on motorway driving rather than just being thrown out there after they pass their test.
However.
This does not mean that you act like an arsehole. If someone tailgates you, there is only one solution: move inside and let the vehicle pass. (That said, you should have by now moved back inside anyway - I cannot fail to notice the lack of motorway discipline here as opposed to that on the continent). If there is no available gap, wait until there is one - if the guy keeps his nose to your tail, he is a bigger arsehole than you thought he was initially. One should never do anything as silly as tap on the brake - this sort of action just makes the brake-tapper a bigger arsehole than the tailgater, and carries a high risk of causing an accident.
I say this as a member of the IAM - and someone who in almost twenty years on the road has only had one prang - at 5mph when some prat decided to suddenly brake to turn right on a congested road. Conversely I am also a member of the ABD - a rather Clarksonesque pressure group. I think everyone should take the advanced driving test, btw.
I am really, really squirming right now, but have to say that I agree with Ben. Zygote is a cock-head.
ETA I said 'arsehole' three times in one paragraph. Arse.
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: If someone tailgates you, there is only one solution: move inside and let the vehicle pass.
I disagree. If I'm doing the speed limit, and someone is tailgating me, I'm certainly not going to move over so he can continue to break the law with his reckless speeding. When this happens, the driver behind me receives a ralph special, at which time I jam my brakes hard for about three seconds in the hope that he hits me ever so slightly. Then I sue him and his insurance company for the whiplash I undoubtedly received due to his disregard for the law. Then it's life on easy street for me and mine.
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But aren't motorway conventions different in the states - ie, you can drive in whichever lane you like, whereas here you are supposed to use the outside lane only for overtaking, and thus shouldn't be sat in it anyway if your speed is that of the middle lane?
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quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: Just saying, I am not Zygote, and Zygote isn't me.
Thank fuck. I was clutching for the Mach 3 blades for a minute.
quote:If someone tailgates you, there is only one solution: move inside and let the vehicle pass.
And what, pray, does one do when there are vehicles travelling in the middle lane, mein fuhrer?
quote:I am really, really squirming right now, but have to say that I agree with Ben. Zygote is a cock-head.
Rather a "cock-head" than a Nazi. Any fucking day.
Oh: I saw a picture of you (Rick, is it?) on an earlier thread in Sex and Relationships. What the fuck is going on with your hair? Is that Bertollini olive oil you use in your hair or was I just seeing things? Then again, suppose it may have been the huge cock on my head dangling in front of my eyes, blurring my vision.
No. Just checked again. It was really your hair.
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
quote:Originally posted by herbs: But aren't motorway conventions different in the states - ie, you can drive in whichever lane you like, whereas here you are supposed to use the outside lane only for overtaking, and thus shouldn't be sat in it anyway if your speed is that of the middle lane?
Ah, a case where practice and law are not even closely related. According to the law, you are expected to move left to pass, and move right to travel, but most people don't adhere to that rule. Particularly not in the northeast, where people will commonly enter the highway and cross several lanes of traffic in one motion only to travel in the far left lane with a phone pressed to their ear.
It's something of a culture shock when I have the occasion to drive in another area of the country, and people actually do move over to let faster traffic pass, rather than automatically blocking them, whether the blocking comes from sheer spite or from oblivious incompetence.
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Gracious. I drove around Arizona, Nevada and California for two weeks, the whole time thinking you could drive in whatever lane you liked. Pants were soiled, especially in LA.
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quote:Originally posted by froopyscot: Particularly not in the northeast, where people will commonly enter the highway and cross several lanes of traffic in one motion only to travel in the far left lane with a phone pressed to their ear.
quote:Originally posted by ralph: I disagree. If I'm doing the speed limit, and someone is tailgating me, I'm certainly not going to move over so he can continue to break the law with his reckless speeding.
When this happens, the driver behind me receives a ralph special, at which time I jam my brakes hard for about three seconds in the hope that he hits me ever so slightly. Then I sue him and his insurance company for the whiplash I undoubtedly received due to his disregard for the law. Then it's life on easy street for me and mine.
The point is that while the tailgater may not be necessarily reckless, by hitting the brakes you would be.
And a fat lot of good your insurance claim idea would be if the tailgater was, in fact, a mentalist prepared to cave your skull in with a tyre iron.
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quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: The point is that while the tailgater may not be necessarily reckless, by hitting the brakes you would be.
And a fat lot of good your insurance claim idea would be if the tailgater was, in fact, a mentalist prepared to cave your skull in with a tyre iron.
I understood your point. I was just kidding. *sheesh*
Funny you should mention a mentalist with a tire iron though. I was considering starting a thread about road rage, but thought the better of it as my story, though it happened decades ago, portrays the ralph of that era as a tire iron wielding madman.
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quote:Originally posted by Zygote: And what, pray, does one do when there are vehicles travelling in the middle lane, mein fuhrer?
You didn't read my post properly, clearly. I said that if there was no gap in the middle lane traffic flow you should just wait until one appeared. Alternatively, just switch on your left indicator - this would probably make the tailgater lay off, and you'd more than likely find someone on the inside willing to create a space for you. I have never found a problem in doing this.
quote:Rather a "cock-head" than a Nazi. Any fucking day.
Whatever you wish, but my alleged political affiliations have nothing to do with this thread, while your cockheadedness clearly does.
quote:Oh: ... [irrelevant bullshit removed]
Your point? Oh, there isn't one.
I cannot see why I am wasting my two of my five TMO monthly posts on some witless moron who cannot even read a post properly. At least Ben - and even Thorn ffs - have a certain panache when doling out the abuse. They can even make me laugh - you don't.
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quote:Originally posted by ralph: I understood your point. I was just kidding. *sheesh*
Fair enough. It is difficult to tell how someone is saying something on this medium, though.
quote:Funny you should mention a mentalist with a tire iron though. I was considering starting a thread about road rage, but thought the better of it as my story, though it happened decades ago, portrays the ralph of that era as a tire iron wielding madman.
I don't think I would try to take on a large American with a bushy beard who lives in a car wielding a tyre iron. No sirree.
You should tell us the story, though.
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quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: Your point? Oh, there isn't one.
The point: how can someone with such a ridiculous head of hair and possible use of olive oil (hence my genuine question as to which brand you use) with which to style it, claim that somebody is a "fucking cock-head"? This puzzles me greatly.
quote:I cannot see why I am wasting my two of my five TMO monthly posts
I cannot see why either. We agree on something, at least.
Your post made you appear like a panting dog, frantically humping ben's leg in a desperate attempt to somehow please its Master. Pathetic. Thus, I simply cannot see what you were striving to achieve.
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Not too long ago my mate was giving me a lift home when the fella behind started tail-gating him. Cue my mate touching his brakes a few times. Cue the fella making wanky hand gestures. Cue my mate making wiggly pinky gestures. At the next traffic lights fella gets in front and immediately slows down as the road becomes single lane again, touching his brakes a few times. Cue more wanky hand wiggly finger stuff. The road goes into two lanes again as it splits off to the left and instead of waiting a moment or two until it was two clear roads, my mate immediately speeds up and swerves to the left of the fella to get alongside him. I understand their penis size was involved by now so no doubt my mate wanted to make sure the fella got the message about how big my mate's was but he didn't get to make the gesture because the other fella promptly swerved to the left too, to block my mate's car. My mate pulled the wheel harder to the left to avoid fella's car and we mounted the pavement at speed.
My mate recovered and got us back onto the road before we got to a lamppost and I finished the rest of the journey in absolute silence, my mind replaying the pedestrians I'd seen on the pavement on the journey, wondering how in God's heaven the pavement had been empty at that particular stretch. My mate just ranted how it was all the other bloke's fault.
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.
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drivers with testes: neither big nor clever
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Has anyone ever driven in Maine? I found that most people there don't turn their turn signal on, until they are actually turning. It's very frustrating.
Personally I think most people drive like crazy people. A and I were driving back from Fredricksburg, Virginia...got stuck in traffic in what is known as the 'mixing bowl' (insanity). Well, I look out the passenger window (which is of course on the RIGHT side) and lo and behold there is a tractor trailer driver reading. While driving. No really.
I've also seen women putting makeup on while driving (I can see adding a little lippy while at a red light, but not while driving)
Men looking over their work clipboards. Again, while driving.
Saw a guy with a donut in one hand, coffee in the other, while chatting on his hands free.
Yeah, people are effing nuts.
Edit- I wass just driving my little (who's not so little anymore) brother home, as he was unable to, due to being inebriated, when this MASSIVE pickup started to tailgate us. And I don't just mean sort of tailgate, he was totally up our arse. I gently tapped the brakes to no avail. I decided to pull over, let him pass and then I LAID ON THE EFFING HORN. Fuckhead.
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i've driven in maine...but all i remember was endless interstate construction with lack of rest areas, then small roads and small towns. basially my main memory of maine is of being in back to back traffic having to leave the car to go wee in the woods off the side of the road. classy.
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