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A biological guide to TMO's poster history.
We're going to churn up the Friday thread this week to discuss the workings under the fanciful friday cloth. Bizzarre skin markings, tatoos and scars are the topic of conversation. Some of you may be reserved or shy to discuss them, so here, unabashed, like CBBC presenter I give you the machinery of Monsiuer Television:
Scars:
Get your tets out Like every good english schoolboy, I wear my tetanus like a badge of honour. It sybolises the bully boy beats of yore. Mine is a circular indent about the size of a cigarette burn. Just above the scar is the spot where the first offender: Black hair number one sprouts from. I have two of these that seem to appear overnight. I have no idea where he comes from, but I'm under good advice that these bastards are common, and the root always feels like the size of a pin head. A cursory check indicates that he's back. That little bastard is going to bug me now until I can get to him.
Oh Jackie Chan made in Thaiwan....uh uh uh uh oh oh! I have a small white scar on my forehead from some boisterous fighting with my brother. He got up off the floor and as thanks for pushing him over, he Fling Long Chopped me into the fireplace gashing my head open. This was the eighties so my father had to take me to the hospital with his usual pre-fix: "You'd better need stitches for this"
Balls On Parade Like my Father, I was born with one bollock up inside my groin, so when I was a teent tiny tot, I was carved open and the offending 'lock was popped back into place. After hearing about how there was some tangling involved, my brother would proceed to wind me up and then pat my head and saying "alright calm down......don't get your balls in a twist HA HA HA HA HA" *point*
Useless anarchic genitals
All night long (all night) I have speckle cock. You know, because of the thingy.
Tattoos
PWEI tattoo (left forearm) I shouldn't really have to explain this one, but when I was growing up and listening to music I was massively into Pop Will Eat Itself. Enough to tattoo myself permanently with the artwork of the Designers Republic. My only regret is that I didn't treat it very well and it is grey and cracked on the skin. This came from working in a kitchen and exposing the tattoo to instense heat. One night while it was healing, my metal watch strap unclipped and travelled down my arm onto the tattoo. There was ink all over my arm and bed sheets. Freckles peep through it.
Roleplay Geek Chic (left shoulder blade) I am a roleplay geek OK? I have the guild markings from the Moleur guild on my back. It's fucking spoddy I know, but it's there and I make no apologies. If I had my way, I'd start working on the other 15 immediately. I would. Shoot me now.
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I've just been advised that it is the BCG scar, not tetanus, but can we keep that error in because 'get your tets out' is still making me giggle into my sleeve?
[ 09.02.2007, 07:43: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
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I've some some scars from where I cut my skin with broken glass and blades from razors and scalpels. They're mostly on my arms, but the ones which aren't raised are fading now. Cigarette burns on the backs of my hands are kind of related. Small scar where I had a ring in my belly. Pretty lame. I've not had any accidents that have left any lasting marks.
[ 09.02.2007, 07:53: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
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posted
Nothing more than a TB jab dent and an appendectomy scar. There's probably also a scar from a hernia operation somewhere down there, but I can't be bothered to check.
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Being a molly-coddled middle class faggot wuss, I don't have many scars or any tats.
The scars I do have are pretty fucking lame, to be honest. I've got a tiny collection of thin scars on my right hand from when I put my fist through window at the age of 17, on Easter Sunday. I was tipsy on cider, listening to Nine Inch Nails and had just written and angry short story called 'Ruiner', and was pissed off at my Grandad for... I forget now. Making fun of my long hair or something. Pathetic. Just pathetic. They kind of make me laugh every time I notice them. I should have punched Grandad instead. That would have made a much better story; less of a cliche.
Got a cigarette burn on my left arm. Not self inflicted this one. A friend of mine stubbed his cigarette out on the back of my wrist one evening, and I was so drunk I didn't notice until the fag was all the way out. Shameful.
Another scar on the back of my right wrist is from where two friends (actually one of them was the same guy) dragged me down the street in Highgate by my feet one evening, and the skin just peeled right off. Gnarly.
The best one is a really nasty scar on my hip, from a night out on the town in Cardiff. I got into a fight with a bouncer and wound up calling him a 'gerbil faced motherfucker'. He didn't hit me or anything but *shame* I tripped over my shoelaces while I was running away and went skidding into the pavement, getting the skin off all the way to the bone and walked home with my shirt soaked in blood. Feeble. Just utterly feeble.
-------------------- Now that you've called me by name? Posts: 2007
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Like Benway (who it will now turn out was joking just to make me look like a psycho) I have the leftover scars from my breakdown, when for no real reason part from a sense of control I slashed my upper legs and calves quite badly, there's a lot of scars there, too many to detail.
One on my left temple where I had a cyst removed, one on my chin from an infection caused by a badly ingrown hair.
My back is one large scar as I lost all the skin from my back during a road accident, the scarring is the worst on my shoulders where it's really easy to burn, it looks a bit like odd but not scar like as they did a good job of keeping the scarring down.
Inside of both elbows have scars, one from falling through a door, one from burning my arm on some machine I was trying to fix at work..
My right 'bird' finger has a scar on the knuckle, it was obviously stitched but I don't remember how or when it happened.
Appendix scar, testicular removal scar (both on lower belly)
I'll do tattoos and stuff from home..
Mikee, what the fuck is a speckled cock ? What do you mean ?
-------------------- my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!
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I have no idea how many scars I have. And I've lost track of the number of tats as well, as most of them were done while I was intoxicated and a lot of them I can't really see without a mirror.
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I have a small downward line above my top lip from when my dog bit me (short version of the story - parked in a supermarket carpark, in backseat with my brother when I was about 8 and him 6, and elderly dog in boot. Brother says dog bit him last week when he said "boo" to it, I don't believe him and so say "boo" to the dog, which promptly bites me).
Several cut marks on my upper arms and a couple of fag burns on my left forearm as a result of teenage depression.
A few small round burns on forearm from falling asleep drunk in front of an electric fire while at uni and then picking at the blisters before they'd healed properly.
About 5 cut marks on my right upper arm as a result of a kinky sex thing including razors.
I also had major surgery on my jaw about 10 years ago, but through the marvels of modern medicine the scars are on the inside of my mouth, under my bottom row of teeth.
Piercings:
Three sets of holes in my ears and although I don't wear earrings much anymore they seem immune to closing over.
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There's a barely noticeable scar above my lip from the time I fell head-first onto a brick wall whilst staggering home from a friend's 21st birthday party. 8 pints of Ayingerbrau, followed by a bottle of whisky proved too difficult that evening.
On my left wrist there's an equally barely-noticeable scar that resulted from me running through the kitchen as a child, crashing into the ironing board and the iron falling onto my hand.
Bizarre skin markings:
A third nipple underneath my left 'main' nipple. Most people don't believe that it's a third nipple, but if you inspect it very closely you'll note that it is.
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I don’t really have any major scars. I suppose the biggest (don’t laugh) is the scar running around the circumference of my wang, where I was circumcised.
My hands, however, are littered with little cuts and scrapes. Here are the most prominent ones:
On the back of my right hand there’s a chunky scar about an inch long. This was from a ‘chicken scratch’ when I was a teenager. Silly thing really, to those who don’t know what it is, a girl scratches your hand repeatedly in the same place until you can’t stand the pain any more. I never told her to stop. She fainted when she spotted the chunks of flesh under her fingernail and blood pouring out of the cut.
On the knuckle of my right middle finger, there’s a round scar. This was from removing little clips from the bottom of a car door. Using all my weight to push the clip down, the pliers slipped and I punched the floor with my full body weight. This bled a lot and left a little patch of skin on the floor.
On the middle joint of my middle finger on my right hand there’s a little crescent shaped slash where a spade connector slipped out of the pliers (I hate pliers) and sliced through the skin as my hand pulled back.
On the side of my right hand, on the edge by the little finger, there’s a little gash where my hand slipped removing a part from a printer. This one’s not very old and probably wont be a scar for long.
On the side of the third finger of my right hand there’s a gash about a centimetre long. This was from broken glass and was one of those ones which just wouldn’t heal. Old one that, it’ll never go away.
On my left index finger there’s another crescent shaped scar. This one on the tip of my finger. I was trying to cut a cable tie with a pair of scissors, while holding the cables out of the way with my left hand. The scissors snapped through the cable tie, but I hadn’t realised my finger was in the way. I had to have stitches for this one. Gives me a weird fingerprint.
My left middle finger has another gash near the finger nail. This is about a centimetre long and I’m not really sure where it came from. I think it’s car related, possibly to do with stripping wires using a kitchen knife
On the knuckle of my left middle finger there’s a cigarette burn. Me and a colleague got very drunk at a Christmas party (not even our own, we crashed one for another office) and decided to dance. I was smoking at the time. We were joined by a third person who grabbed us both, trapping my cigarette between my hand and my colleague’s arm. We both got a scar from that.
In terms of scars from other parts of my body, there’s a cut across the bottom of my chin. This was from slipping off a chair and hitting my shin on a table as I went down. There’s a patch on my right shin where the skin is always white, where my leg hit a tree, breaking the bone. There’s a small cut on my left elbow where I fell off my bike as a kid. Scars on both my knees from more childhood bike antics. And there’s a little patch on the back of my head where no hair grows, this is from falling off a swing and busting my head open. Back in the good old 80’s where kids had to actually take the consequences of behaving like artards. Oh, and there’s a little scar in the middle of my chest that looks like a fag burn but it’s actually from where my mates pinned me down and sprayed deodorant onto my skin at point blank range until I howled in pain. I used to have a small ‘action man’ style scar on my right cheek from shaving, but that seems to have more or less gone now.
I think that’s pretty much all the scars I’ve got.
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Oh, in terms of other body stuff. I have holes in my left ear and left nipple where I used to have piercings.
I also have four nipples. Two main ones which are giant, like burgers, and two little ones which are about 8mm wide and each below a main one. These are definitely nipples, much as I like to deny this fact.
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.
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Pale white patch on outside of left ankle from when uncle spilt flask of hot water on me as a toddler and I got a satisfyingly ginormous puffy yellow blister.
BCG mark on left thigh (Mum said - tell them to give it to you on the leg rather than the arm so you won't have a mark which will show under sleeveless tops. They did. I had a mondo bad reaction - yellow weeping sore. Result: pale purple mark on thigh about size of 20p piece versus everyone ele's tiny white shoulder mark).
Little white patch on right middle knuckle where hand got scraped along wall as a kid.
Scar through left eyebrow from eight stitches when at university (head clash).
Little scar on forehead from accidentally nutting corner of chest of drawers as teenager.
Two top middle front teeth - built up with temporary crowns that were never replaced following fall from bike as kid.
Ears: pierced once each (dull).
Current injuries: rapidly-fading monster bruise on left knee/inner thigh, bruised left temple and cheekbone from falling over my own feet and crashing into court wall head-first when playing squash last Sunday.
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.
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also: black big toenail from playing squash in too loose shoes and stopping too quickly and stubbing toe inside aforementioned too loose shoes.
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quote:Originally posted by Ringo: I also have four nipples. Two main ones which are giant, like burgers, and two little ones which are about 8mm wide and each below a main one. These are definitely nipples, much as I like to deny this fact.
I have 4 nipples also! My two regular ones, plus two which are offset on my upper belly. My father also has an extraneous nipple in exactly the same place as I do.
Scars - I have a few - most noticeable is one under my eye from crashing my bike into a tree as a lad, and my head is covered in them from falling off of bar stools whilst very drunk while I was serving in the Army in Germany.
Tats: 2 - one rather naffish "Death or Glory" skull thing, and the rather more artitsic fine line characature of Ogri and his dog, Kickstart. I would like some more as well.
quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: Mikee, what the fuck is a speckled cock ? What do you mean ?
When I got the priapism, the veins burst all over and now I have an array of spots on my peenai. Think of it like hundreds of red stars in the pink sky.
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I have a white circle on my back where a large mole shank away to nothing. This bit of skin is totally lacking in pigment and burns like that! I expect it will be the death of me...
I have a wierd grid shaped scar on my calf where I, very briefly, rested it on the electric heater. I hope this will fade more. One of my friends had branding done up her legs as stocking seams and tops. She couldnt walk for weeks. lol! She is widely accepted to be a mad though.
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BCG scar on left arm, which is probably larger than it should be due to (a) my constantly picking at it and (b) the fact that everyone tried to smack each other on the arm without fear of being disciplined. Those were the days.
Two sizeable scars on my knees caused as a result of careering too fast down a hill and into a pebbledashed wall while on a plastic toy bus when I was about four or five. I tried to stop using a desperate foot-pumping action but when it knew what was going to happen I decided to lead with my knees instead of my head. I remember blood streaming from both knees and tears streaming from both eyes - and my Dad calling me a 'poof' before applying Dettol to the wounds. Those were the days.
-------------------- "You ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary!" "I thought they were animal cookies..." Posts: 4130
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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What a surprising number of overly nippled men there are on TMO.
Scars Mentallist person scarring left upper arm. Some proper chunkers, including the one inspired by The Drugs Don't Work (I was young and bereaved, okay?). The doctor what stitched that one up laconically suggested I might try listening to Phil Collins instead. I suspect I might have be dead by now if I'd taken him up on that.
Under chin. Face, concrete floor. Mountain bikes, Diamond White and ankle length lycra skirts don't work in combination. A subsequent ten years of dental drama from that. Meh.
Appendectomy. Boring. Mostly unnoticeable.
Forehead; the floor hit me in the face dancing to Nirvana. Making that now twice in total that Smells Like Teen Spirit has landed me in A&E.
Two tiny dots on belly button where the fifth and sixth rings used to live. I took them out to get married as they loooked like an emerging alien under my tight frock. Those two refused to go back in again, despite some fairly hardcore shoving that caused me to leak blood and goo. Might have then redone at some point.
Neat dot on nose where there used to be a nose ring. That was removed when I started whoring myself for government.
Pierced Ten in each ear, of which roughly seven each have healed.
Scars: one weeny one on my knee from falling over in the playground when about 5. A few bits of pink left over from unsightly mole removal (back, hip, belly).
Holes: took my extra earrings and nose stud out for good last year- too old for all that.
Toenails: always either creamy-silver or sparkly-silver.
Other than the above: PRISTINE.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Self harming was well trendy in 1995, though, H1ppy. All your mates must have thought you were dead boring. As opposed to my mates, who fucking loved breaking doors down then manhandling six foot of unresponsively pissed blood covered idiot off down the A&E.
Heh, I forgot the scar on my left wrist where I tried to kill myself with a shard of a diamond white bottle. Because of Rage Against the Machine. Or something. 27 stitches! I thought that was quite impressive. The bouncer who caught the upspurt of arterial bleed on his forehead probably was less impressed though.
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quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: nose stud
Oh god, I always assumed it was a spot! The nose ring explanation makes sense actually - I thought that zit had a lot of staying power. Well I'm glad it's cleared up, anyway.
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![[Confused]](confused.gif)
![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)
When I got the priapism, the veins burst all over and now I have an array of spots on my peenai. Think of it like hundreds of red stars in the pink sky.![[Mad]](mad.gif)
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