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» TMO Talk » The Library » Justice League Stripped (Page 1)

 
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Author Topic: Justice League Stripped
Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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Off the top of my head, deep breath -

Superman
Batman
Wonderwoman
Flash
Green Lantern (Hal Jordon)
Aquaman
Martian Manhunter
Black Canary
Green Arrow
Firestorm
Red Tornado
Zatana
Gypsy
Steel
Vibe
Blue Beetle
Booster Gold
Captain Atom
Dr Fate
Elongated Man
Plastic Man
Guy Gardner
Doctor Light
Power Girl
Rocket Red
Mister Miracle
Big Barda
Captain Marvel

go!

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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Black Mask

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First to go... Green Lantern for a total wasted opportunity. He can do anything, ANYTHING with that ring and what does he use it for? Giant fists. Big green hammers. Huge whirring buzz-saws. Where's the swarm of rabid cock-monsters? The tiny green grenades in your enemies' eyes? And how is he defeated? By yellow. That means piss, in my book. Piss on the Green Lantern. It's such a shame...

Oh, well.

That leaves us with:

Superman
Batman
Wonderwoman
Flash
Aquaman
Martian Manhunter
Black Canary
Green Arrow
Firestorm
Red Tornado
Zatana
Gypsy
Steel
Vibe
Blue Beetle
Booster Gold
Captain Atom
Dr Fate
Elongated Man
Plastic Man
Guy Gardner
Doctor Light
Power Girl
Rocket Red
Mister Miracle
Big Barda
Captain Marvel

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sweet

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Hades
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Can we remove Guy Gardner for his lame haircut?
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Black Mask

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quote:
Originally posted by Hades:
Can we remove Guy Gardner for his lame haircut?

Consider him gone.

Zatanna and Big Barda give me the horn. I don't want to see those little cuties getting hurt, so... they're out of here.

Superman
Batman
Wonderwoman
Flash
Aquaman
Martian Manhunter
Black Canary
Green Arrow
Firestorm
Red Tornado
Gypsy
Steel
Vibe
Blue Beetle
Booster Gold
Captain Atom
Dr Fate
Elongated Man
Plastic Man
Doctor Light
Power Girl
Rocket Red
Mister Miracle
Captain Marvel

--------------------
sweet

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Black Mask

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Oh...

 -

...and Power Girl.

Bye, honey.

Superman
Batman
Wonderwoman
Flash
Aquaman
Martian Manhunter
Black Canary
Green Arrow
Firestorm
Red Tornado
Gypsy
Steel
Vibe
Blue Beetle
Booster Gold
Captain Atom
Dr Fate
Elongated Man
Plastic Man
Doctor Light
Rocket Red
Mister Miracle
Captain Marvel

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sweet

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Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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Steel - he's either a poor mans black Superman who uses his knowledge of machines and stuff to build a suit and hits people with a hammer, and was played by Shaq O'Neil -

 -

I am Steeeeeeel

- or his a really badly dressed very very poor mans captain america -

 -

Grrrrrr USA, USA!

eitherway he's rubbish and gone.

Superman
Batman
Wonderwoman
Flash
Aquaman
Martian Manhunter
Black Canary
Green Arrow
Firestorm
Red Tornado
Gypsy
Vibe
Blue Beetle
Booster Gold
Captain Atom
Dr Fate
Elongated Man
Plastic Man
Doctor Light
Rocket Red
Mister Miracle
Captain Marvel

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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Vogon Poetess

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Plastic Man sounds a bit gash. What does he do, wave some complex polymers at baddies?

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What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden.

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Hades
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Elongated man and the Blue beetle who were in the league are both already dead so lets remove their rotting corpses

 -

Superman
Batman
Wonderwoman
Flash
Aquaman
Martian Manhunter
Black Canary
Green Arrow
Firestorm
Red Tornado
Gypsy
Vibe
Booster Gold
Captain Atom
Dr Fate
Plastic Man
Doctor Light
Rocket Red
Mister Miracle
Captain Marvel

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Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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Aquaman - now, he's an okay idea, king of the seas, talks with the fishes is rubbish - but he's strong enough to swim really deep down, is super fast and has great senses - but ultimately his just a really crap character - surly, rude, miserable, talks with fishes, has never been well written, he is, ho ho, shallow beyond belief - he's crap, and he's gone.


Superman
Batman
Wonderwoman
Flash
Martian Manhunter
Black Canary
Green Arrow
Firestorm
Red Tornado
Gypsy
Vibe
Booster Gold
Captain Atom
Dr Fate
Plastic Man
Doctor Light
Rocket Red
Mister Miracle
Captain Marvel

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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wonderstarr
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I'm afraid this list has already been stripped in a peculiar way ~ you've knocked out two of the biggest guns, Hal Jordan (? surely not active in the JLA for years) and Aquaman, leaving people who are going to stay the distance because nobody knows the fuck who they are or what they can do. Rocket Red is just some kind of 1980s Soviet robotman, isn't he? He's about as cheesy as Drago. Vibe? Who the fuck? Sounds like some token African-American jiver. It's not exactly a name to conjure with ~ not a name that resonates in the mythical annals of the DC Universe, is it. Gypsy? What does she do, knock her bangles together? Why not include Karma, the token punk from eighteen issues of late-80s Doom Patrol? He probably met Superman once.

So you'll end up keeping these z-listers in because you're not sure exactly how dumb they are or how to criticise them, whereas Aquaman, who's a wasted character but still hugely more interesting than Rocket Red, gets chucked at turn #5. Next it'll be Batman because, I don't know, he's gloomy and angsty, and doesn't have any powers. Leaving Red Tornado, another Soviet nobody as I remember (perhaps wrongly), and interchangeable nulls like Dr Light and Dr Fate, just because they're so dull there's no easy way to slag them.

I think the issue here is that you've started off with some sort of circa-85 Justice League.

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pudgy little saucepot

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wonderstarr
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Also, way to ignore the lady and keep in Plastic Man [Roll Eyes]

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pudgy little saucepot

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dang65
it's all the rage
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Well put Wonderstarr. Maybe this one would've worked better if it had been "JLA members that have had films based on them" or something like that.
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Benny the Ball
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Ah well yes you see - the league list was made up from the original line up/big 7 - then the next big run of the 70's/80's (Firestorm and the like) - added 3 of the Detroit era League, then a chunk from the JLI run, and a sprinkling from Morrison's run. there are a lot of over laps from each of these, so...

as for those you mention;

Rocket Red was a man in a suit designed by Killwog - first one was a Manhunter, second one was Dimitri something or other, a quite jolly chap, but a trumped up Iron Man.

Vibe was a hispanic character who, like Richtor in the Marvel Universe, could make mini-earthquakes or something - he was in to breakdancing.

Gypsy could warp peoples minds to become invisible or something. She was one of the only survivors of the Detroit Era cull.

Red Tornado was an android that became an air elemental.

I think the idea was that people would look some of them up - see how bad they were, and strike them from the list.

But they have all been Leaguers at some point, and the aim is to strip them back - if it was list the 7 biggest players in the DCU it would be very straight forward.

Oh and Dr Fate is a far more interesting character than Aquaman. (as is Mr Miracle, Batman, Black Canary, Green Arrow, Captain Atom etc etc etc)

And I would never strike Blue Beetle from a list because he was dead, but swallowed that in the name of the game....

so onto the list

Superman
Batman
Wonderwoman
Flash
Martian Manhunter
Black Canary
Green Arrow
Firestorm
Red Tornado
Gypsy
Vibe
Booster Gold
Captain Atom
Dr Fate
Plastic Man
Rocket Red
Mister Miracle
Captain Marvel

I'm getting Dr Light out - she never really joined the league, wasn't really a costumed hero of any note other than being a token Japanese character, and was moot because she was in the league able to blind people with a flash of light, while Blue Beetle was also there, who had a flash gun that did exactly the same thing, and was therefore flawed as a choice of character;

"Stand back folks, I'll blind them with a flash of my..."
"Doc, it's alright, Beetle already did it."
"Oh."

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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Nathan Bleak
It's all grist to the mill
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quote:
Originally posted by Benny the Ball:
Killwog

LOL. I don't want to know anything more about this character, in case it conflicts with the extraordinary backstory I've just created in my head.

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Now that you've called me by name?

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wonderstarr
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quote:

Killwog

What the fuck!

Well, I see you knew what you were doing, Benny. It's a bit of a strange route towards assembling a JLA, and I can't help feeling that stripping the big guns would be more meaty ~ it would be interesting to decide whether you'd dump Superman or Martian Manhunter first, given that they have similar powers and a similar single weakness ~ but there is obviously logic to your method.

quote:

Vibe was a hispanic character who, like Richtor in the Marvel Universe, could make mini-earthquakes or something - he was in to breakdancing.

Gypsy could warp peoples minds to become invisible or something. She was one of the only survivors of the Detroit Era cull.

Nevertheless, I can't help thinking that if I haven't heard of these guys ~ and I do know a fair bit about the Justice Leagues ~ and if your knowledge of their powers trails off into "or something", there isn't much mileage in debating whether they should stay on the team. I mean, I'd dump anyone I hadn't heard of before if I was really putting together a JLA. I'd keep people I read about in the newspapers. If some emo kid comes up to be recruited telling you he's Crybaby and he has the power to read people's emotions from a distance of 2 metres, and he was in the St Louis chapter of the League for a few months of 2004, and I've got Superman in the interview room, I'm not really going to give the kid the time of day.

--------------------
pudgy little saucepot

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Benny the Ball
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true - there is always a sense that the league should compliment each other, so that their combined might can over come anything - but they always clashed characters and powers - partly from writers messing it up, partly from editorial choices to make the league bigger and more sellable I guess.

It was good writing that made, for example, Flash neccessary with Superman, and Martian Manhunter, and so on and so on.

I just realised - I think I forgot the Atom. Oh well.

So, Wonderstarr are you stripping Vibe and Gypsy?

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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wonderstarr
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I'd cull everyone but the top 7 on that list and Captain Marvel, personally ~ I'd add GL back, too ~ but yeah Vibe and Gypsy are as good a start as any I suppose.

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pudgy little saucepot

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Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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Superman
Batman
Wonderwoman
Flash
Martian Manhunter
Black Canary
Green Arrow
Firestorm
Red Tornado
Booster Gold
Captain Atom
Dr Fate
Plastic Man
Rocket Red
Mister Miracle
Captain Marvel

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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Hades
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quote:
Originally posted by wonderstarr:
I'm afraid this list has already been stripped in a peculiar way ~ you've knocked out two of the biggest guns, Hal Jordan (? surely not active in the JLA for years)

I think he's back in now after recently being resurected.
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wonderstarr
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I haven't really followed his recent career. Didn't he become... "Sentinel" or some other portentous nonsense, and/or/then betray everyone in a big Final Night crossover, and become the Spectre for a while? If he's now Green Lantern, what happened to Kyle Rayner? I know I could look this up, but it might be more sociable to talk about it.

And I'm sure VP was suggesting Plastic Man should be culled. Again, it seems a bit boardroom if a girl pipes up about comics and gets ignored.

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pudgy little saucepot

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wonderstarr
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Also Wonder Woman has always been two words, sorry to be pedantic.

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pudgy little saucepot

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Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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Superman
Batman
Wonder Woman
Flash
Martian Manhunter
Black Canary
Green Arrow
Firestorm
Red Tornado
Booster Gold
Captain Atom
Dr Fate
Rocket Red
Mister Miracle
Captain Marvel

--------------------
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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are we aiming at getting a final 7 or a final 5 team?

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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wonderstarr
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Oh, I thought the idea was "last man standing". I've got to go and see Ghost Rider now though [Smile]

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pudgy little saucepot

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Nathan Bleak
It's all grist to the mill
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Don't do it! It's fucking dreadful! Mind you, you liked League of Extraordinary Gentleman so maybe you'll like it.

[ 02.03.2007, 05:30: Message edited by: Nathan Bleak ]

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Now that you've called me by name?

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wonderstarr
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Oh. Well it was that or The Science of Sleep, I think, at the Trocadero (which is dreadful) circa 11am this morning. I will reconsider if there's anything else possible. Science of Sleep looks like an adult version of Care Bears or something.

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pudgy little saucepot

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Nathan Bleak
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I dunno what else is out at the moment, just that Ghost Rider is roughly as good as Spawn or Van Helsing and doesn't have any redeeming features. It's really turgid, incredibly unexciting, and really, really mind numbingly stupid. I can't remember the last time I saw a film with so little regard for it's own internal logic. Stuff like, Johnny Blaze is invincible because of his pact with the devil, then gets stabbed as Ghost Rider, and the next day as Johnny Blaze has to get stitches for the knife wound, but is otherwise OK, despite also being strangled, beaten and run over by a truck.

It fails on every level, basically. The action is really unexciting, the script is without wit. One liners, threats and puns should be the bread and butter of action films - consider anything from the standard setting Predator - things like "You're bleeding" "I ain't got time to bleed", and set them next to Ghost Rider's tough guy dialogue:

Ghost Rider: You're going down.
Blackheart: I don't think so.

Just totally rubbish. Plus, Ghost Rider's winning move in a fight is to look at someone and make them feel awful about the terrible things they've done (Ghost Rider, by the way, is an agent of the Devil, so it doesn't even make sense that he has this ability to go round making people feel bad about doing bad things), so fights come down to... Ghost Rider looking at people. Just about the most visually uninspiring thing in the world.

There is one thing that really made me laugh, though, and that's near the beginning of the film where Johnny Blaze takes a tumble off his stunt bike, going head first into the ground. His stunt team race over, yank his helmet off, and then slap him in the face to see if he's OK. LOL! "Yeah, I was fine until you raked my head all over the place, and then I kind of lost all sensation from the chest down." STUPID FILM.

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Now that you've called me by name?

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Nathan Bleak
It's all grist to the mill
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I think I took too long typing that, and wonderstarr has probably already left.

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Now that you've called me by name?

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Black Mask

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quote:
Originally posted by wonderstarr:
I'm afraid this list has already been stripped in a peculiar way ~ you've knocked out two of the biggest guns, Hal Jordan (? surely not active in the JLA for years) and Aquaman, leaving people who are going to stay the distance because nobody knows the fuck who they are or what they can do. Rocket Red is just some kind of 1980s Soviet robotman, isn't he? He's about as cheesy as Drago. Vibe? Who the fuck? Sounds like some token African-American jiver. It's not exactly a name to conjure with ~ not a name that resonates in the mythical annals of the DC Universe, is it. Gypsy? What does she do, knock her bangles together? Why not include Karma, the token punk from eighteen issues of late-80s Doom Patrol? He probably met Superman once.

So you'll end up keeping these z-listers in because you're not sure exactly how dumb they are or how to criticise them, whereas Aquaman, who's a wasted character but still hugely more interesting than Rocket Red, gets chucked at turn #5. Next it'll be Batman because, I don't know, he's gloomy and angsty, and doesn't have any powers. Leaving Red Tornado, another Soviet nobody as I remember (perhaps wrongly), and interchangeable nulls like Dr Light and Dr Fate, just because they're so dull there's no easy way to slag them.

I think the issue here is that you've started off with some sort of circa-85 Justice League.

This is more or less exactly what happened with the Gently list.

--------------------
sweet

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Black Mask

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quote:
Originally posted by Nathan Bleak:
STUPID FILM.

GAH!

TMO should write a superhero movie...

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sweet

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Benny the Ball
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pretty bad at the cinema at the moment;

The Science of Care Bears the Movie

Ghost Bollocks

I was tempted by the Good Shepherd, but one review said that 3 hours of men looking at manila envelopes doesn't inspire tension - so.....

Plus I have a preview of Becoming bloody Jane on sunday to go to with the wife - great [Frown]

And the first series of the wire still hasn't come....

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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Benny the Ball
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Blade II is the best superhero movie to date.

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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Nathan Bleak
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I fucking loved Blade II. It looked great, the action sequences were top drawer. Plus! Luke Goss of Bros getting his face kicked in by Wesley Snipes!

It did have stupid moments (bending light, nonsense twist about a double crossing assistant), but mostly it was a kick-ass kung-fu horror romp.

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Now that you've called me by name?

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New Way Of Decay

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I'd really like to watch a prgram like Film 2007 with Nathan reviewing shit films and showing footage from them.

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BUY A TICKET AND WATCH SOME METAL

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Black Mask

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If he did that on YouTube he'd have his own TV show within a month.

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sweet

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