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in a way, she seems to share many characteristics with VP. Like, I was just writing about how wan and frail Keira appears, how she maintains a kind of studenty yet flattering style of dress, her association with Orlando Bloom, a kind of serious nature, and realised I was also describing VP.
[ 30.08.2007, 07:58: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
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It's a shame for George Clooney that he never meets any nice normal ladies who fill out a pair of trousers nicely and talk about milm, and that. I think a down-to-earth kind of guy would benefit greatly.
Maybe we could start a service, enabling lonely stars to meet normals, for some good basic fun. No references to film, 'loving your work', limos, chihuauas, etc, allowed.
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quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: yeah, is that supposed to be George Clooney?
I think it was supposed to be Mart being Mart but as a... no. I don't know. I can't imagine Julia Stiles being impressed with that, at any rate. Conversely, I reckon if Knightley read my work on TMO she'd crack her pelvis like a wishbone opening her legs for me.
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No, I don't really know what it was. As soon as I hit send I knew it was crap, but if I then just cross it out and leave an X, Thorn would come back and say "Why did you delete that particular post? You've written loads of posts that are way shitter than that."
So, er, yeah, no idea what I was trying to riff on, there. Spiel like that just wouldn't impress herbs or George, me or Julia, Keira or Thorn, or Benway and his Japanese girlfriend, would it.
God. How am I ever supposed to be ace when all I am is shit.
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I've just gotten really angry and disgusted with myself for imagining a situation where I'm living happily married with Keira Knightly in a big house in Kew and then I ruin it all by having a sleazy affair with Kerry Katona. Like, leaving my beautifully furnished victorian house, with Keira and my two adorable, well behaved kids playing with some beautifully designed scale replicas of 1920s fire engines on inch deep carpet in front of a hug open fire. Heading up North to some gaudy new-money bolthole town, secretly letting myself into Kerry's gated modern monstrosity (still talking about the house, guys), and banging her against the cheap white plastic wardrobe in her bedroom while her squalling kids batter on the door shrieking "Mummy! Mummy Thomas done a shit in his hand and is trying to make me eat it Mummy!" I can barely get to grips with the amount of shame and self loathing I'd feel after getting caught out like that. The pictures in the paper of Kerry staggering around Manchester town centre, with her knickers trailing from one ankle. Keira head down and dignified. Awful. I already regret it and I haven't even done it yet. Still. You can't change the future eh. No use crying over yet-to-be-spilt milk.
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Keira drove you to it because she was never there, and she hadn't had sex with you since you both got drunk at Christmas.
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I can't blame her for that. I knew what things would be like, marrying a career minded actress, and I welcolmed the opportunity to spend the time at home alone to work on my book. It's not Keira's fault the publishers weren't interested and the last thing she wanted was for me to abandon it. I don't know what I was thinking. So, the marriage bed's been a bit cold since the second kid was born (since the first, actually, but we don't talk about that). We're both tired. She's got her work. I have the kids... sorry. Had the kids. All that's gone now. She won't let me see them. Won't let me near the house. I've lost everything. And for what?
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At this point, I'd probably finish my drink, leave the pub, start walking home, pull my phone from my pocket, put it back, start walking again, stop, pull the phone out, dial a number and be all like "Kerry...? It's Thorn... are - you... are you busy?"
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.
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Are there any other starlets whose initials are KK that you'd like to involve in your fantasy, nathan?
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Get him out of my sight. He was hanging round the house an awful fucking lot when Keira was filming her Bend it Like Beckham sequel, just before she took a career break with our youngest. I know she needed a trainer and everything but when flowers start turning up with "Beckham can't bend like you!!" on the card. Well. You ask questions. Or rather, just bury your head in the sand and remember who's paying the bills.
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These alt-life riffs always get me down. I loved alterna-Benway day, to the point of laughter and tears but found myself getting really frustrated and upset that it wasn't real. I've just been looking through Keira's IMDB board thinking "Oh, you scavengers - you maggotts - you think you know her..." I wasn't even that fussed about her this morning - just thought she had a pretty face. Is this how a psychosis begins? Am I edging towards enveloping myself in a fantasy world where everything that was ever posted on TMO is all true in my mind at the same time? Where Benway is a super-successful director hell bent on self-destruction, as well as a fat drunk marrying my daughter? I feel like I'm losing my grip sometimes, like I don't know what's real and what's not anymore. I forget my own name - little things like that. And I think about things, like people doing things, but I can't really get my head round the fact that those people aren't really doing those things in real life, that the scenarios in my head don't really exist. Like when you're lying in bed at night having conversations with your friends in your head and you don't really believe that they're not there, that it's just you, talking to yourself. TMO Alt-Days are a lot like that, but more emotionally draining.
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See, when things like that happen, is it any wonder I start to lose my grip on what's real and what's not? If you gave TMO to someone and ask them to decipher which bits were real and which weren't, you can bet Harlequin's appearance as a love rat in the tabloids would got straight on the 'not real' pile. Fuck it, they'd probably put Harlequin himself there.
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Also, as well as the real world of your life, and the alterna-world of TMO, where everything is true, there's also the world of what life would have been like if you hadn't joined TMO at all, if you'd never found it, if all there was was just, well, real life.
quote:Originally posted by mart: Also, as well as the real world of your life, and the alterna-world of TMO, where everything is true, there's also the world of what life would have been like if you hadn't joined TMO at all, if you'd never found it, if all there was was just, well, real life.
*sobs into beer*
i'm assuming you are crying because if you hadn't found tmo - you wouldn't have met me - all those degrees of kevin bacon.
?
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