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» TMO Talk » The Library » Old Year, Old You!1 (Page 1)

 
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Author Topic: Old Year, Old You!1
London

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Hello. I have done this massive survey about 2005. I thought it might be fun if you wanted to do it also. Of course it might be a bit long or something, in which case, Darryn can close the forums. Alternatively, why not pick your one or two favourite questions, and just answer those? Take it away, TeamMO!

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?

Snippety-snap. Whoosh. I thought it was the sound of a log snapping, a log on a pile of leaves. I landed legs pointing straight down like a dart dropped by a drunk. What a lark! What a plunge!

I had a new hinge in my leg. I had never had this before. I felt the four ends click together as he unlaced my shoe and pulled it off. Two tib, two fib, four thin ladies, clicketty-clack. He held the two halves of my shin in his hands and kissed one half then the other. I went woozy and sipped his whisky and then I was up in a helicoptor my lungs full of nitrous oxide.

What else did I do that I'd never done before? Pissed in a bedpan. Accessorised my hot new pyjama and bandages look with a morphine drip. Luckily said morphine drip meant I never had to do anything more in said bedpan than said pissing. Sobbed alone in hospital bed as said stupid bedpan overturned, spilling its yellow contents on the white white sheets, and nobody came to rescue me.

Sobbed from terror before the operation. The look on the anaesthetist's face as he leant over me before I blacked out: pity, concern, tenderness, all tucked up in a plastic hairnet. The fear-tears running horizontal down straight from my eyes across my temples into my earholes. Getting nailed. I've been nailed before alright but never an 'intermedullary nail and three screws' made of titanium and pushed right down through a slit-cut in my kneeskin: no.

What else? Clip-clopped around on hospital crutches: marvelled at the kindness of strangers (they will give you their seat, they will help you carry your things up the stairs); read about my accident in the NME ('our keyboard player took a young lady on a date to the countryside, where he fed her a load of special mushrooms and made her climb a tree. Within seconds, the poor girl had crashed to the ground, shattering one of her legs'); developed a total respect for the NHS, who paid for me to fly in a fucking helicopter and paid for me to stay in a bed and gave me food which sometimes I accidentally sicked up because of all the morphine and gave me free drugs and a free operation and a free rod which I will have in my leg till the end of all time. What a lark! What a plunge!

Bonus other stuff I did that I had never done before: got paid to sing onstage in an all-girl band; learnt how to DJ; went to All Tomorrow's Parties; developed a 'crush list'; got given a cold sore by someone on said list (thanks m8!); put on and promoted a gig (Kevin Blechdom, Simon Bookish and Printed Circuit at the Hanbury Ballrooms in Brighton); got my own column in a magazine; bought a flat designed by Erno Goldfinger of Trellick Tower brutalist architecture fame.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

According to my paper diary of Jan 5th 2005, I wanted to 'leave this hipsterette trainwreck of a life and get something cleaner, brighter, tidier, better.' Ah well. Maybe next year, eh?

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No, but someone close to me had a miscarriage.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Er, only the baby of the person who had the miscarriage. But that was more a dream of a life than an actual death. It was the death of a dream. Dreams die all the time.

5. What countries did you visit?

Berlin, Germany. THREE TIMES!!!!

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?

What a dumb question. Money. Love.

6. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory forever?

15th March: the day I broke my leg (see above).

Like everyone, 7th July, but with a sense of guilt. I wasn't there. I was in a double bed in Prenzlaurberg with a semi-stranger. You could see the Alex from the window. I got a text message from my wife who was at a music festival in Stockholm. 'What is happening to London? It is exploding!' 'WTF? Are you still on drugs?' I replied. Then, the dash to the British Council. Sitting there watching the TV screens with the boy who I didn't know well enough to turn to for comfort. Wanting to clasp my hands around his forearms. Curling them round my knees instead.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Conning the Nationwide into giving crappy, freelance little me thousands and thousands of pounds to buy my Erno Goldfinger luxury apartment (er ok it was hardly any pounds because it is a through a housing association for artists and povvos actually, but still.)

9. What was your biggest failure?

I don't have failures, ok? Some successes are just more petite than others.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?

Did you know that I broke my leg?

11. What was the best thing you bought?

All Tomorrow's Parties ticket. A fur stole from a flea-market in Berlin. Green Louis-heeled shoes. Grey blouse with ruffles. Black blouse with pleats. Bow-fronted polka dot blouse which has now shrunk to size of Sindy doll's handkerchief because at the moment everything I touch turns to shit. Apartment in an Erno Goldfinger designed block. Wait, did I mention that one already?

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Stuart Turnbull for being the best editor I ever had. Text messages to see how the interviews went! Lavish praise! My own little column in the front of the magazine with a drawing and everything! Pints of Hoegaarden and promises of dinner! That's what a girl wants. Well, that and 30p a word. And that dinner.

Bonus mention: Me, John, Sam and Guido in Berlin on Sunday 20th November. Fuck yeah.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

Like I'm going to say on here. Oh wait: mine, for acting like a gimp.

Bonus mention: me John Sam and Guido in Berlin on Sunday 20th November. Fuck yeah.

14. Where did most of your money go?

I've never been one of those shoe women, but when people are producing shiny shoes with t-bars AND a wedge heel, or emerald green louis-heeled ones with mary-jane straps, or patent pervalicious round-toed wedgies that make men peep at the reflections to see if they can see up your skirt, or dinky shoes with bows and tiny platforms reduced at Tacky Maxx, you'd be stupid not to. STUPID.

Bonus mentions: Ebay, Cloud Nine vintage store in Hanover Square, and that funny little troglodyte small-eyed sweet man at the off-licence in Homerton in exchange for pink wine.

15. What thing did you get really, really, really excited about?

DJ-ing. The Blechdom night. Meeting the Hott Lurker at ATP. Spectacles; ties; the shape of a boy's top lip.

16. What songs will always remind you of 2005?

Are You Fucking With Me – Kevin Blechdom

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder?
Sadder in terms of misery and horrible shit happening to me, but I HAVE BOUGHT A HOUSE.
b) Thinner or fatter?
No idea. About the same I think. Also, I HAVE BOUGHT A HOUSE.
c) Richer or poorer?
Richer. I earn about twice as much per day for corporate whore work as I did this time last year. Plus, I HAVE BOUGHT A HOUSE. Less rent! More creativity!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Raqs Sharqi. Writing. Tidying. Repressing.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Procrastinating. Myspace. Being honest about my feelings.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I spent it crying really fucking hard, blogging it up on Myspace (blogs I would then immediately delete), fighting with my mother the religious homophone, and hiding in my bedroom taking stupid photos of myself to post on the internet. Going home really brings it back to you how much you've changed over the years, doesn't it? I'm so glad I don't act like an adolescent any more or anything.

21. Did you fall in love in 2005?

I don't think so. Maybe a little bit.

22. How many one-night stands?

None. Fuck one night stands in the ass. I'm a terrible slut, by which I mean, I'm terrible at being a slut. I don't even put out till the third date. I'm thinking of getting my area sewn shut, actually. There's a guy on the Old Kent Road says he'll do it for fifty quid.

23. What was your favourite TV program?

Lost, I guess. Even my burning love for Seth Cohen couldn't keep me awake for Season 2 of the OC. Here's hoping Season 3 exceeds expectations. I have my OC visor that Vikram gave me ready for the season premier on E4 on Jan 10th. Seth, you better not disappoint. I hope you're curling and conditioning your eyelashes. How's Mr Oates, is he ready to be caressed? Have you cued the new Death Cab for Cutie? Are you wearing a tie? How's the Jew-fro?

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Trillions of people. That's what MySpace is for, isn't it?

25. What was the best book you read?

Drugs are Nice, by Lisa Carver. The Freud Reader, edited by Peter Gay. Haha.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Blechdom, The Research, Ms John Soda, Mitte Karaoke, Skugge and Stavostrand, Pier Bucci, The Postal Service, DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE

27. What did you want and get?

A smack in the face.

28. What did you want and not get?


Everything to work out just fine.

29. What was your favourite film of this year?


Ermmmmmmmmmmmmmmmdunno. Am crap at films. Anatomy of Hell, by Catherine Breillat, maybe.

30. What did you do on your birthday?


'Rokes! Karaoke at the Shanghai in Dalston. It was loads of fun. I got humiliated, of course, but it wasn't anything to do with the singing.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Last year was extremely satisfying because I managed to resist filling out any one of these stupid surveys. I don't know what the hell induced me to fill this in, save a desperate free-floating desire to write, which really would be better served by writing anything other than a 2005 Year End Review. I'm not even at work. What a loser!

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?

Ladyfuckinglikemotherfucker. I wiggle I jiggle I fiddle I dip. I spin the ends of the bows around my fingers and choke them high and tight up around my neck. Are my seams straight? Black and red till the day I die. Is that a feather corsage on your coat or is your nipple pleased to see me? Little Orphan Annie, but only after she's adopted by Daddy Warbucks.

33. What kept you sane?

MySister. MyWife. Definitely not MySpace.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I am experimenting with fancying really obvious people who you are totally meant to fancy if you are a woman. I am so tired of fancying wrong'uns, twisty ones, quirky ones, alternative ones. I want the right ones these days. The proper ones. The only ones. Give me the bulging biceps. Bring me the tragic heroes, whose only flaw is that they care too much, that they can't help but tell the truth, that they'd die to protect those they loved. I don't care for weakness, sneakiness, dirtyness, sauciness, corruption, debauchery, behind-the-back action. I want: straight down the line, balls to the wall till the day I die, DEATH OR GLORY, all tied up in a jawline to break your mama's heart. That's what I'm after. Romance. Protection. Leadership. Mastery. Yeah. I'm talking Jack from Lost. Know what I'm sayin'? I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

There was this time on the night of the election when I accidentally got really drunk and started to find something Grecian and romantic in the shape of Gordon Brown's hair curls. Mrs Thatcher's sequinned jacket also sent sparkles into my eyes most intoxicatingly. Then I passed out on the sofa.

36. Who did you miss?

Sam Jacob, though it was fun to continue our intercontinental jetset friendship in Berlin, not once, but twice. Tyler after he ran away.

37. Who was/were the best new person/people you met?

John. Tyler. Napoleon. Anna. Marianna.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.

Boys don't like being liked.

[ 05.01.2006, 05:40: Message edited by: London ]

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Dr. Benway

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Jesus, London.

I think that I can do this in a more efficient way.

What happened

- Went out with Louise.

Anything else?

- No.

--------------------
I have shit on you, son

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Dr. Benway

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and, I told you about your no.38 a couple of years back.

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I have shit on you, son

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London

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Cheers for reminding me.
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Dr. Benway

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that's okay - you're welcome! [Smile]

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I have shit on you, son

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Abby
Slave Girl of Gor
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what was the question?
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London

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The question was: 'Is Benway a wanker?', and the answer was 'Yes he still is.' [Mad]
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Roy
Mohammed the Gay Ninja
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It's time like these I wonder "Where is ralph?"
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Dr. Benway

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[Frown]

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I have shit on you, son

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Dr. Benway

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you should post that back up... It was really good. Good writing.

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I have shit on you, son

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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
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L, FWIW IMHO I thought your post was rad.
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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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This is my last day of procastination, people. Let's make it count.
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Dr. Benway

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sorry TMO.

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I have shit on you, son

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vikram

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what's a no. 38?
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Dr. Benway

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one of the last routemasters in London.

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I have shit on you, son

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vikram

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oh. good riddance!
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London

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There I put it back. I just thought it might be fun to take one or two of the more interesting questions and, like, answer them. BUT APPARENTLY NOT.
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vikram

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season 2 was good, amp! i am gonna watch all of it in one go next week. can i borrow the visor?
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Roy
Mohammed the Gay Ninja
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Okay:

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Passing my driving test. I never believed I would drive, like, ever. When the test was over and the examiner said "Congratulations, you've passed" I couldn't stop myself from saying "What?" as though he had just said "Bananas and treacle in a hard drive make happy pigs"


What was the best thing you bought?

One of them Sat-Nav things. I realised I needed one when it took me five hours to get back to Lewisham from Barking.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005

When you drive, you always have something to talk to other blokes about.

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Darryn.R
TMO Admin
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Just the questions amended for the fact that it is 2006:


1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
4. Did anyone close to you die?
5. What countries did you visit?
6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory forever?
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
9. What was your biggest failure?
10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
11. What was the best thing you bought?
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
14. Where did most of your money go?
15. What thing did you get really, really, really excited about?
16. What songs will always remind you of 2005?
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
21. Did you fall in love in 2005?
22. How many one-night stands?
23. What was your favourite TV program?
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
25. What was the best book you read?
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
27. What did you want and get?
28. What did you want and not get?
29. What was your favourite film of this year?
30. What did you do on your birthday?
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
33. What kept you sane?
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
36. Who did you miss?
37. Who was/were the best new person/people you met?
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.

I'll have a run through, but frankly last year wasn't a great one..

[ 05.01.2006, 05:47: Message edited by: Darryn.R ]

--------------------

my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!


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London

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Oooh, cheers Darryn! I wanted to do that but after formatting that thing I just couldn't face it.
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Darryn.R
TMO Admin
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Hey, well done on the Erno Goldfinger designed flat, he's my second favorite architect after Owen Luder.

Any pictures of the building online ??

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my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!


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London

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Not many, but inside it looks a bit like this:

 -

And outside, a bit like this, except that where we will live, Glenkerry House, does not have a separate lift shaft as Balfron House and the Trellick Tower (below) do:

 -

If you come to the UK, you must visit!

[ 05.01.2006, 06:01: Message edited by: London ]

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vikram

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenkerry_House
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Darryn.R
TMO Admin
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Mnnn, tasty..

 -

I love these buildings, they're so Megacity one.

[ 05.01.2006, 06:08: Message edited by: Darryn.R ]

--------------------

my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!


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dang65
it's all the rage
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38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.

I've learned that, however complex and impossible a problem is, my new boss is able to casually click the mouse button three times, tap on two keys and say, "There, it works now." This is a strange combination of infuriating and awe inspiring.

On the one hand, it makes me feel like a complete spakker when I'd previously felt quite well clued up and capable. On the other hand, I believe I am actually working for a genuine genius and I should be happy to just sit back and watch in admiration.

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London

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quote:
Originally posted by Darryn.R:
I love these buildings, they're so Megacity one.

All those lives of quiet desperation crammed into such a small space. London, sobbing on her laminate floors.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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quote:
Originally posted by London:
All those lives of quiet desperation crammed into such a small space. London, sobbing on her laminate floors.

I like the way this could be London (Amp, London) or London (whole fucking city London). That's good.
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
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1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Lost job, started own company, had "exciting", living on the edge, verge of financial ruin type stress. Rode the wave of fear all the way into the beach of uncertainty and sat under the palm trees of possibility drinking from a coconut cocktail of hopefullness which is where I am now. Liar- you are doing fuck all on the internet again - ed


2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't think I had any but this year it's aim low, achieve goals.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Everyone did. it's an age thing.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No

5. What countries did you visit?

Uk only this year!

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?

More money than I know what to do with. Sleep.

6. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory forever?

I'm shit with dates so probably just my birthday and Christmas.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Paying bills

9. What was your biggest failure?

... dunno

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?

Got a cold

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Mac mini - with the unofficial apple upgrades. [Smile]

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

n/a

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

n/a

14. Where did most of your money go?

Mortgage, food, bills. It really is that boring

15. What thing did you get really, really, really excited about?

An order and subsequent payment.

16. What songs will always remind you of 2005?

JCB song - which I now hate

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder?
Happier fo sho.

b) Thinner or fatter?
The same
c) Richer or poorer?
I'm poorer but I feel richer. ie I've earnt less but I have more in the bank.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

eating out

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

eating cakes

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

n/a

21. Did you fall in love in 2005?

n/a

22. How many one-night stands?

0

23. What was your favourite TV program?

Peep Show

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

n/a

25. What was the best book you read?

Adobe Indesign CS1 manual

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Mouse on Mars, Sasha, Last fm, Shatner,

27. What did you want and get?

xbox

28. What did you want and not get?


winning lottery ticket

29. What was your favourite film of this year?


Sin City

30. What did you do on your birthday?


not much


31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?


Clients that paid on time.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?

Retro hetero

33. What kept you sane?

not drinking

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

That mixed race one from the suga babes. I know! I was surprised myself!

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

Fox hunting, what a crock of shit

36. Who did you miss?

Elvis,

37. Who was/were the best new person/people you met?

n/a

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.

It will probably sort itself out[/QB][/QUOTE]

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Dr. Benway

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1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?

Went jogging. Rowed a boat. Bought flowers for no reason. Walked down the middle of Tottenham Court Road. Downloaded a film.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I can't remember. I don't think I did. This year... learn chess, make a film. Maybe get a guitar.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No, but someone close to me had an abortion.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

None.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?

A plan. An idea. Motivation. A process, a way of doing. A thing that I do. My thing. He's just doing his thing. Money, and a job. But more important is that core, the magnet. I need a North pole. A summary.

6. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory forever?

None. Really, nothing happened.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Maintaining a relationship. Producing some kind of horror related thing. Making a few irritating MP3s. Keeping things locked down.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not getting a job, not moving house, not filming anything even though I now have a camera, getting drunk to the point where I blacked out and vomited MORE than I did in 2004.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?

Hangovers. Kicked the mad pills, stayed off em.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Resident Evil 4.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I suppose...Louise.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

My own.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Drink.

15. What thing did you get really, really, really excited about?

Probably the first issue of the magazine, and then buying a new graphics card for my PC.

16. What songs will always remind you of 2005?

Teenage Angst - M83.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder?
Probably the same. Maybe a bit sadder, because I thought that things would be different to how they are.
b) Thinner or fatter?
fatter. But I'm starving myself to try and get back to how I was.
c) Richer or poorer?
poorer. Earning less that I ever have in my life, apart from when I was working picking strawberries.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Being quiet, writing without purpose, cooking. Emailing people. Trying.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Eating kebabs. Fantasising.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I spent it wrapped up in the comfort of my own self pity, suffering from a cold. Trying to remain po faced and ok as my dad and brother goaded and joshed me like I was 14.

21. Did you fall in love in 2005?

Yeah.

22. How many one-night stands?

None. No more of that.

23. What was your favourite TV program?

Peep show. Speed Auction TV. Takeshis Castle. Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex - which is fantastic.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Hating is for suckers.

25. What was the best book you read?

Glamorama

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I enjoyed the postal service. 'Milkman' by Aphex Twin. 22 Grand job by The Rakes. Shatner.

27. What did you want and get?

Attention.


28. What did you want and not get?


an ipod. But I don't want one now. I can't read, listen to music and play the DS at the same time.


29. What was your favourite film of this year?


Devil's Rejects. I think. I said something else on another thread though, and I can't remember. Not a recent film. Never mind. I generally don't like films.


30. What did you do on your birthday?


Invited a few people out, but only like two turned up. Had a pint.


31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?


Thousands and thousands of pounds. A clue.


32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?

Student 1998.


33. What kept you sane?

San Miguel. Sunshine. Pretending.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I can't really think of any. Belladonna? Not really fancy though, more an enduring interest. I wished that Kate Moss was my girlfriend a few times, because she could give me money and drugs and clothes.


35. What political issue stirred you the most?

Katrina and Bush.

36. Who did you miss?

Raz.

37. Who was/were the best new person/people you met?

I didn't meet any new people.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.

nothing happens unless you try. Although, I've been learning that for years. Maybe as well that it ain't how many people you know, but how well you know people. [/QB][/QUOTE]

[ 05.01.2006, 06:22: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]

--------------------
I have shit on you, son

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?

I got engaged. Actually, that's a lie - not the engagement but the distinctiveness of the act. I've been engaged before, when I was 13. I saved up my pocket money and then borrowed £20 from Damon Wright. He practically forced it upon me, cheap hood style. You know, "hey kid, buy your lady something noice". £20 was a lot of money then; I'm pretty sure Damon was nicking money from his mother's purse. I'm pretty sure, also, that his mother was having an affair, and he knew about it, and she knew he knew about it, and she knew he was purloining notes from her purse but the offense was somehow equalized through guilt or tacit blackmail. I don't remember any of this being official; it's just something I sort of tuned into with my child's vibe antenna. I bet kids really do feel a tremor in the force long before adulterous parents believe their infidelities have been found out. £20 was a lot of money but £43.50 was even more. That's what my 'engagement' ring cost when I bought it from Argos. My parents mocked me and refused to take the event seriously. How could they? I'd show them. Clare and I would prove to them that this union was no teenage whim. I proposed outside the school disco, down on one knee on the pavement. A cheer went up - a handful of mates had noted my position from a distance. Dougie was Djing - he announced our engagement over the opening bars of Berlin's Take My Breath Away. I felt like Tom Cruise, supersonic. Probably did a none-handed windmill to Alex F and fingered Clare behind a curtain to celebrate. Who knew what the future held - as that bus pulled away from the church and Mr. Robinson hammered at the door I'd secured with the crucifix. At the back of the bus I turned to Clare and smiled. She smiled back. The moment didn't last, our kinky grins soon uncurled and leveled out, and moments later the hint of a frown pleated my forehead. I had no idea where we were going or how things were going to work out; I had no idea how I would pay Damon back his £20. I'd originally planned to use my dinner money - slipping a school dinner past the tills every day (it was all a matter of confidence: walk past the dinner lady on the tills, pick up a spoon from the cutlery tray, turning as you did. If no one was looking at you suspiciously, you'd made it. Sit down, enjoy) - 70p into the Damon Ring Loan Fund. But I'd been grounded and forced to walk home at lunchtimes after being done for shoplifting. I hadn't bargained for that punishment extending over two terms. How would I get the money? How would Clare and I survive? The future was an unmapped road. We could go anywhere. As it happened, I had to go home then for my tea but, believe me, I fretted constantly over my chop and chips about how we would make ends meet. Eventually, six months later, I found a purse in a phone box in Norwich, while we were holidaying on the Norfolk broads. It had enough in it to pay Damon back and then some. I made the mistake of looking at the photograph of the girl/woman whose purse it was. Should never have done that, you're humanizing her, she's no longer a meal ticket, she's a person. Thankfully, she was an ugly person. Not just ugly, she looked cruel, like a witch. She didn't deserve her money so it went to Damon. Damon didn't really care about the money - his parents divorce was kind of preoccupying his thoughts by then. Clare and I lasted another 18 months before we split. After that we carried on seeing each other all the time but we were no longer a couple. It took six months of people telling me I had to move on before I did anything. Friends would tell me that all the time: stop fucking hanging around with her. It took a complete stranger - a hairdresser who I told my life story to by accident - giving me the same advice before I said, "Yeah! If a complete stranger can tell me that, not knowing shit about the people involved then fuckin' yeah!" and went out to the Caravan club disco and got off with not one but three women that night. Zoe Luchas gave me a hicky - a fucking hicky! Like in Grease or something. The disgusting fucking vamp. My mum pulled back my Lyle and Scott rollneck in the kitchen the next morning: "Oh Michael!" - a real, long, drawn out 'Michael' - absolute disappointment, like she'd caught me wanking the dog or something. The hicky moved things along nicely. I couldn't hide it from Clare so that was it. I was free. The engagement in 2005 was very different.

[ 05.01.2006, 07:07: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]

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London

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*applause!*
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
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Lyle and scott [Smile]
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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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quote:
Originally posted by Roy:

When you drive, you always have something to talk to other blokes about.

Heh. Excellent.
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Roy
Mohammed the Gay Ninja
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Jonesy gets my first lol of 2006. My favorite line - "Dougie was Djing - he announced our engagement over the opening bars of Berlin's Take My Breath Away"

ETA: I didn't read that post above when I wrote mine. Now it looks like there is some sort of mutual appreciation society thang going on.

[ 05.01.2006, 06:42: Message edited by: Roy ]

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