Welcome to TMO


TMO is always looking for contributors. We are looking for Writers, Illustrators, Columnists and Script Kiddies to join the TMO team and help create what we hope will be a thriving web community.

We're not exactly rich here at TMO. This site cannot exist on fresh air, so if you have a good idea for funding that doesn't involve us having to fill up the whole site with undignified and over animated banner ads please let us know.
We also accept plain brown envelopes stuffed with cash, but we don't do oral. (often)

TWUNT of the month
Number Two - Peter Buck

Peter Buck - You're a twunt, end of story.
I was going to be really clever about this. I was going to cobble together a large argument addressing social injustice.
I was going to illustrate how if one is a white, respectable rock star like Buck (TWUNT!), one is more likely to escape punishment than a black rapper with a track record of bad behaviour like say Asher-D (another TWUNT!).
I was even going to rope in O.J. Simpson to further my case and mention that Vince Neil from Motely Crue escaped conviction despite killing someone in an accident caused by driving under the influence. Yes, it was going to be a brilliant read.

But after scanning through the reports of the case from various websites, I'm thinking; "Stuff it! he's a Twunt.
This is obvious to anyone with an IQ above the level of plantlife.

I don't see the point in wasting the time covering anything other than the damn case, because a twunt like this isn't worth it! Just consider the facts:

The cabin staff and captain say that Buck assaulted British Airways cabin staff after a heavy drinking session, allegedly ignored every effort to calm him down, and was issued with a written warning that the flight would be diverted so he could be removed and prosecuted.

They say that Buck tore up the warning notice and swore at the Captain.

Right - OK. Let's take Buck's side for a second here
He may be the victim of a cunning plan on the part of BA to make some extra dosh (uh-huh), and the crew may be lying.
So why then did he apologise for the incident after being charged ?
That's right - he apologised outside court after being charged, saying in statement that was read by his lawyer "I am sorry for the incident and of course I am embarrassed about the whole thing."

Next on the block we have him entering his plea of not guilty.
HUH ? Wait a second - he apologised didn't he ? Call me old fashioned but doesn't an apology imply acceptance of guilt - to some degree at least ? How the hell do you say sorry for something, and then say you didn't do it ?

Well, if you're Peter Buck, you claim you can't remember anything about it. And then you get everyone from Michael Stipe (Who by the way, is starting to bear a frightening resemblance to Bod) to Jesus Christ our Lord and Savů I mean, Bono, to get on the stand and say you're the loveliest and cuddliest and nicest chappy who e'er played the ukulele.

In the end, Buck claimed the combination of taking a sleeping pill and drinking "small amounts" (15 top-ups ? small amount, yeah, right!!) of wine had caused a reaction known as "Non-Insane Automatism", and he had not intended to commit an offence.

Oh come on!

There are two possibilities here - either:

A - He's lying.


B - He knew he had the potential to act this way on booze and pills.

I know that Bono, et al said that he was a shy retiring flower offstage who drinks nothing stronger than tea, and is in no way the kind of maniac that would smash up a plane cabin endangering the lives of everyone on board - but I just don't buy it!

I find it hard to believe that someone who spent the last 20 odd years of their lives playing axe in a rock & roll band has never gone on a booze & pills bender.

So, summing up then:

Being a git+apologising+denying git behaviour+Stipe/Bono+ lame excuse = TWUNT

Simple enough equasion really.

by Nick Ransom.

*TMO would like to add that Shiny Happy People was also a pile of festering shite

[previous twunt]

The zone

The Moon Online and all it's content is copyright to the usual sources, blah, blah, blah..
The Moon Online copyright 2000