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» TMO Talk » Life » CLOSING TIME (Page 0)

 
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Author Topic: CLOSING TIME
Ringo

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Probably worth downloading it all just in case
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herbs

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You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. Oh yes.

Great times. Great times. The intensity of emotion that could be stirred up via the interweb always amazed me, and has never been equalled. Though I do get the occasional cold-veined feeling when Thorn's horrible to me on Facebook, just for old times' sake.

How weird, though. I haven't been back here for months, and here's a new thread, of a few days old. Did we all detect a disturbance in the force?

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Kanye West
TMO Member
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I think for me, tmo definitely facilitated in my delusion that I could write, and has been the launchpad for more than one creative endeavour. It probably contributed to my ill-advised journey into unemployment and borderline alcoholism as I used the delusions to build a hall of mirrors for myself. I made some good pals, got well mashed up at a variety of exciting london events. i suppose it'll never go away as long as i'm still in contact with everybody from it, and i am on a daily basis. apart from a change of girlfriend, things are pretty much as they were when i joined. still corporate, still living in london, still living a pretty similar lifestyle. No kids, no marriage. stasis.

[ 02.12.2011, 10:13: Message edited by: Kanye West ]

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herbs

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For me, it cemented the delusion that I was at least fleetingly amusing, and has furthered my failure to develop any other way of forming relationships. Still, it gets me by.

Just read the thread featuring ralph's cum face. Laughed so much my throat aches. That special TMO office laugh.

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mart
Wearing nothing but a smile
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Herbs, if it's any consolation, it was no delusion; you really were fleetingly amusing.
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Carter
Taller than Bandy ?
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It's closing.

How bizarre.

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Kanye West
TMO Member
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we should have one last meat.
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dang65
it's all the rage
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All the other forums apart from Life have gone 'archive only' already? WTF? I was thinking of posting something.

Where does everyone go these days?

I hang out on Quora quite a lot, though they have a no humour policy which would probably put some people off. Fucking Stephen Fry was all over it a few weeks ago, but fortunately he's fucked off again now.

Google Plus is ok, but about 95% wank. Haven't found anywhere anything like TMO, obviously.

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Kanye West
TMO Member
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facebook, twitter. Feel like I've "failed, badly" at twitter. My winning personality and complex, layered satire are lost there, and instead I am reduced to simply providing an island of calm, poignant navel gazing in a sea of memes, lols, and brags. facebook i use mostly for derailing conversations, gently pushing normal discussions about boring life shit into the realm of the fictional, the magical, and the absurd.

I think really I've realised that I don't have any authentic interest in other people's lives, and see their stories as launchpads my own unique brand of passive-aggressive fuckwittery.

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jnhoj
TMO Member
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Cheers for guiding seventeen year old me through my first ecstasy pill seethru / tmo...and just adding a bit more ...culture / cynicism / bollocks, to a chap from Derby. Ten years. brrr.
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jnhoj
TMO Member
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Also for introducing me to benway, who I recently shared a cocktail with in a Rio roof top swimming pool as a result of our selling shit via the medium of adverts for dell.

I hang out on www.rllmukforum.com - in theory it's about games but they do all sorts.

[ 02.12.2011, 15:13: Message edited by: jnhoj ]

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Samuelnorton
"that nazi guy"
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It may well be my last post on here, but I have to say that Ben's last contribution was incredibly moving.

--------------------
"You ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary!"
"I thought they were animal cookies..."


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dang65
it's all the rage
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quote:
Originally posted by Samuelnorton:
It may well be my last post on here, but I have to say that Ben's last contribution was incredibly moving.

tl;dr

What was the gist of it?

[/2011 web attention span crisis]

[ 06.12.2011, 09:28: Message edited by: dang65 ]

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dang65
it's all the rage
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You know that Nyan Cat animation thing, right?

 -

(Yes, the Internet really did progress that far whilst TMO slept.)

Well, there is apparently an emoticon for that, and it looks like this...

~=[,,_,,]:3

...and people are using it, on the Internet.

And none of them seem to have realised that it's clearly someone having a wank.

What the hell is going on when people think that emoticon resembles a flying cat-headed pop-tart instead of a firmly grasped cock and balls?

There is much work to be done.

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Brian Munich
Newbie
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It will be a sad day - but TMO and seethe rue will live forever in our hearts. Like a good tapeworm. One that keeps the weight off but doesn't pop out of your jacksy like a tail.
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MiscellaneousFiles

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Fuck.
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Thorn Davis

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quote:
Originally posted by ben:
Or possibly, when I stopped being intense I stopped being ben.

I had a weird experience about a month ago, related to TMO personas. I was in the US for the first time ever, visiting a city called Charlotte, which, so far as I could tell was like the US equivalent of Reading. I was there completely on my own for a work trip. On the first night I landed got chatting in a restaurant to a guy called Robert. He worked in the Food and Drinks industry, so he knew all the local bar staff and we went on a kind of impromtu pup crawl, starting with Jaeger shots at a bowling alley, and going downhill from there. Then there was this Mexican bar with this drunk dude hassling us, and Robert turned to the barman and said “I don’t like this guy”, and the barman said “forget about him, he’s gone”, and had him thrown out. That was awesome. Evening ended on a somber note in an Irish bar with Robert talking about how he’d watched his dad die. I said I was going to the loo, and left the building because I was worried he was going to leave me with the bar tab. From there I tried to get into a couple of other places; one I got into and promptly got turfed out of "for being drunk" (seriously, what kind of bar is this?), and another I was refused entry to ("No way dude, you're way too drunk"). The last thing I remember was falling down down two flights of concrete steps and thinking "wow, that was exactly the kind of evening Thorn Davis would have had".

********************

Hard to know what to add to a closing time thread. The website felt like a big part of my life for a long time. Like a lot of other people I struggle to sum it up when telling "real" folk about it (usually as part of a 'how did you meet your wife?' story). It still feels like it was the best discussion forum on the internet; I've never seen another one that was as fast and funny and had so many people engaging so deeply with it, or one where people could play with identity and humour and seriousness and silliness so deftly in the space of a single post and still be understood. It was awesome, it's unrepeatable and now that facebook and twitter have essentially killed this kind of community, we can lean back as old timers, like ageing punk rockers, and comment on how we were part of it when it meant something, before it was all about money. Or how many friends you got - after all there was always just as much prestige on TMO in alienating as many people as possible over the course of an afternoon. #nostalgia.

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Brian Munich
Newbie
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THE EXPENDABLES
WRITTEN BY KEVIN BACON

EXT. RIVER OF THAMES - NIGHT. 2001.
The MOONLIGHT reflects off the calm dark body of water. Like my body. Hard. Ripply. The outline of an anchored 25,000 ton CARGO SHIP (THE SEETHRU) is barely discernible.

CUT TO: INT. - SHIP
BOUND HOSTAGES (Mike and his wife Luce, site designer Jake, content writer Sophie, technology expert Brandon and Reece Wilson) are being shoved and kicked into the centre of the ship’s HOLD.

CUT TO: SHIP’S HOLD
The PIRATE LEADER, DAVID MCCANDLESS, bellows orders and the PIRATE CREW kick the HOSTAGES to their knees, while dragging them into a straight line. The LEADER orders another PIRATE, LONDON, holding a small VIDEO CAMERA to begin filming.

MCCANDLESS (in Shoreditchese)
This series has failed tho. Now someone has to pay! Information is not beautiful when it shows no audience figures and a nazi-sympathiser on the chat room. This was the first time (pron. tee-yime) we tried to do cross platform with Internet. And Rick J fucked us inna ass. Well, Rick J and a shite (pron. shi’ite) script. And David Walliams, who is no Kevin Bacon. But mostly Rick.

MCCANDLESS takes a GLOBAL G21 BONING KNIFE from another PIRATE WEARING SKINNY TROUSERS AN IRONIC TSHIRT AND SHIT 1980s TRAINERS. Glowering through his bias cut at MIKE, he raises the BLADE. Suddenly, MCCANDLESS’ raised hand is dotted with infrared laser dot things. Off guns and that.

BENNY ROSS
Poot thee knife down, blossom, or tut’ll end thaffle for ee.

THORN CHRISTMAS
I will totally shoot all of them before you shoot one of them. I totally will. Totally. I’ll shoot that one then I’ll roll and shoot that one then I’ll shoot that one with my hand behind my back and I’ll throw a knife at that one and that one will get it. I’ll chew him. That one will be naked and I’ll be oily and I’ll tug him off like blam like a fuckn fist-beaked woodpecker and th...

BENNY ROSS
*shoots*

THORN CHRISTMAS
*shoots*

HERBS
*shoots*

MART
*shoots*

BENWAY
*shoots*

RAZ
*shoots*

NEW WAY OF DECAY
*shoots*

SYDNEY
*shoots*

CHERRY IN HOVE
*shoots*

OCTAVIA
*shoots*

RINGO
*shoots*

CARTER
*shoots*

DANG65
*shoots*

MISCELLANEOUS FILES
*shoots*

EVERYBODY ELSE
*shoots*

CUT TO: INT. - BRITISH LIBRARY

BENNY ROSS
Mr. Bacon?

BACON
Youknowitbitch. How much you bench these days? I skinnied down to play bad guys. America today. Bad guys have to be European or skinny. We’re fat, frightened people. Fiennes nailed the Euro vote, but didja see me as the skinny paedo? I actually fucked the kid. Nothing by halves. And still benching 340 with my cock while my balls do cardio. You know my cock invented the word ‘woot’. See that all over twitter. Woot, woot, it’s the sound of my wad. You’re not easy to contact, Ben. We’re just waiting for two more motherfuckers.

CUT TO: CHURCH DOORS OPEN. SMOKE. TWO FIGURES AGAINST A MOONLIT SKY.

STATLER
They killed Seethru now they want to kill TMO?

WALDORF
Kill? Put out of its misery.

STATLER
Misery? I love misery?

WALDORF
Then you’re gonna love the rest of this laboured gag.

STATLER
My wife wore one of those.

WALDORF
No wonder your child has serious underlying issues and finds dealing with common concerns traumatic. He should brush off problems with a song and just be happy. We can show how this applies to disabled children and children of ethnic minorities. But not gays.

STATLER
Ho ho ho, etc.

BACON reaches into his jacket and withdraws a PHOTO, which he hands over to BENNY. He looks at BENNY’S FOREARM and eyes the ‘EXPENDABLES’ tattoo of the RAVEN on a PIE. BENNY eyes the photo. It is the image of a MIDDLE-AGED man. His chest looks like HOMER SIMPSON.

BACON
That’s a picture of Darryn Rotisserie, Leader of Teemo, which is a small, barely developed chatroom nation due east of Hamsterdam. Ten years ago, Darryn took the people of Seethru and made himself headman. And Teemo has been a human rights graveyard since.

BACON shows BENNY a picture of KURT RUSSELL.

BENNY ROSS
Jesus Christ. They cut off Kurt Russell’s legs?

BACON
No. That’s Jonesy999. He’ll be your contact.

TWO DRUMS and a CYMBAL roll down the stairs. BUDUMM-TISH.

+++

Author note:
I didn’t fuck a kid. I imagineered my character and face fucked a dwarf wearing school uniform. That’s method. I learned that offa Larry Oliveyey, who fucked a whole garrison of dwarves dressed as Schutzstaffel for his role in Wild Geese II. But what I meant to say is Happy Christmas and this may be shit but it’s my way of saying goodbye and TMO meant a lot to me.

Bisous

Kelvis x

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Carter
Taller than Bandy ?
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Fuck yeah.
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Waynster

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Well it was inevitable, but it is still a very sad day when it happens.

I was drawn to Seethru by a link from my mate Rene - the wonderful 'Bullies Reunited' - having dipped my toe in the water I slowly submerged myself in to the first proper website that I'd visit daily with eagerness - the antics and humour of the posters were as enthralling as the content. I felt like the awkward kit at a party - a little bit socially inept but something kept drawing me back to the place. When Seethru called it a day, I'd already become real-life pals with Darryn thanks to us both being expats in the same city so the move to TMO was a given, if anything just to keep the support for his new venture.

The funny thing is I always felt out of my depth on TMO. I was overawed at the talent of the posters on here and constantly felt inferior - I mean when you amongst others genuine published authors and the medium of communication is primarily writing, well it can be extremely daunting trying to write in response anything. But this was the cutting edge of the internet at the time - like Thorn so rightly stated this was like 1970's London and we were the punks at the revolution with Darryn the Malcolm McClaren of the era - reinventing the Genre in a new home (much like McClaren did after his time in New York). Thorn was Johnny Rotten - full of vitriol and spite and Benway his Sid Vicious- their united spite often against each other yet ultimately a great double act would often have me both intimidated yet entertained to the hilt. Ben was a bit Strummer to me - a bit more serious and political. Mikee so Iggy - the first one to get his cock out to get his point across. And AMP was Polly Styrene - harsh but could sometimes sing so sweetly when she needed to get her point across. And so the list could go on....

Me - I kinda felt like Jimmy Pursey I suppose. I mean I wanted to be Joey Ramone but I think my place was as someone who was always around who could shout a lot but not actually say a great deal. But I was never cast out and was kind of accepted for my loyalty, if nothing else. And I did feel at home, if somewhat uncomfortable at times.

It was only when I got to meet you people for real that I actually realized that as well as being scary, vicious and sickeningly talented - and you will hate me for saying this - but you were also endearingly funny, warm and delightful company. I've honestly made some of the best friends on here I could ever imagine. I've laughed so hard with you, Rocked with you, got horribly drunk with you,had the most deepest and soul-searching conversations with you, cried with you and seen even the next generation of TMO-Spawn enter this world and grow (and you can add a +1 to that list come the beginning of February). And when Waynster v2 grows up, I'll tell him about you shower of bastards and all the fun we have had - and I hope even without this here forum - will continue to when we get together wherever it is in the world.

So we now stand all united in grief to say our fond farewells to the site that brought us together - TMO - Lays in rest in a coffin afore us. We bow our heads with tears in our eyes as the curtains part and the coffin makes its final journey towards the flames. As it does a tune is piped through to help it along it's way to the next life. It sounds oh so familiar yet long forgotten. Eye's fleetingly meet as we try to recall the song - small whispers - anyone ? What is it? And then.....

'Is it The Chain by Fleetwood Mac?'

Well fuck it, someone had to before it went [Big Grin]

Goodbye TMO. I'll miss you and all who sailed on her.

--------------------
Noli nothis permittere te terere

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ben

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 -
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Niffer
Een beetje vreemd, maar wel lekker!
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It was fun. Thank you. Bye.

--------------------
Seek help, possibly medication.

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Octavia
I hate Valentine's Day.
Stupid commercialised crap
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I'm really sad now I've realised this is the only thread that can be posted on. For some reason (despite Darryn's perfectly clear first post) I thought it was No New Threads only and that old threads could still be posted on. [Mad] [Mad] [Mad]

Can't we all give Dazzler money?

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squirrelandgman
"well thats fucking funny"
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Ta ra
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Darryn.R
TMO Admin
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So, it's goodnight frome me......

--------------------

my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!


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Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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This is the only thread still open, right?

--------------------
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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Damon's Off
TMO Admin
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HOW DOES THIS FUCKING THING WORK AGAIN???

Wait, am I allowed to swear?

--------------------
Don't do anything stupid until I get back.

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Waynster

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****

--------------------
Noli nothis permittere te terere

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Waynster

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Nope

--------------------
Noli nothis permittere te terere

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froopyscot
nibbled to death by an okapi
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Not dead yet!

... just checking.

--------------------
Give 'em .0139 fathoms and they'll take 80 chains.

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Waynster

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It's still twitching, like the errant tremors in a dying mouse's leg as it succumbs to the poison it ingested just a few hours before.

Keep prodding it with a broom and it will continue to hang on I am sure

--------------------
Noli nothis permittere te terere

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Octavia
I hate Valentine's Day.
Stupid commercialised crap
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*prod*
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Carter
Taller than Bandy ?
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Hello all. Just checking in.
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MiscellaneousFiles

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quote:
Originally posted by Carter:
Hello all. Just checking in.

Hey Carter.
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StevieX
Gimmie the keys, I'll drive
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It seemed a crying shame not to stop by and pay my respects. Despite the last rites having been performed some seven years ago, I was pleasantly surprised to note that this old place is clinging doggedly to life like some spiteful dowager great-aunt. Even more surprised that my login details were still so easily remembered. So. What's new?

--------------------
i wrote for luck - they sent me you

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