Today's Joey featured Christina Ricci. It was almost funny! I also watched the Andy Ritcher repeats. That were almost funny too.
My favourite thing today was having a go at my housemate (there's Lily who is lovely, and Joshua who really fucks me off). I hope to have a proper argument sometime. With luck he'll leave and Benway can move in.
Posts: 5190
| IP: Logged
posted
I guess cream soda never made it to our house as although I have a sweet tooth and like cream and evaporated milk, I've never liked rich creamy drinks, inc milkshakes and liqueurs. I had to drink a shot of Baileys the other night though, at the horseracing chat board meat, as a mad, barely conscious, drunk Glaswegian bought me one insisting, "you're a girl, this is what girls drink."
I remember my belief in fairies was bolstered by some pretty solid evidenc when I was about 7. I got a Crystal Barbie for Christmas, which until my best mate Helen got Dreamglow Barbie for her birthday in May, was the best Barbie to have.
Barbie slept on my bed one night (I think the toys were in rotation for this special privilege), and I carefully removed her glittery shoes, earrings and necklace and put them on the floor next to my bed. In the morning they were gone. They couldn't have slipped down any floorboards; there was absolutely nowhere for them to have gone. So obviously the fairies took them to wear. I never ever found those accessories, and have yet to hear a convincing explanation for their loss.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
| IP: Logged
posted
I think the final lines of your post were also lost, VP!
quote:But on some nights, when the moon is just a sliver in the sky like the last curl of butter on your knife, and I am in that strange and special place beween wakefulness and sleep... I hear a patter on the floorboards of the bedroom where I now sleep, and half-opening one eye, catch the glint of tiny silver shoes, the wink of little jewels, as the fairies show off the treasures they stole.
quote:Originally posted by vikram: and now i'm watching joey. i should just kill myself!
At least five have filled that awkward post-Home and Away slot with something better than Family Affairs. Also is it just me, or is Joey's little brother, cousin, housemate, whatevs... the reincarnation of Jerry Seinfeld?
posted
but we could be like maverick and goose before goose dies. Cruising bars wearing tight fitting naval uniforms, having $20 competitions to get carnal knowledge of chicks, doing duets, having each other's backs, trusting each other with our lives. The kind of relationship that real men should have with each other. Real men don't pansy around sending love letters to each over the internet. Real men go two's up with inhebriated women, and high five for the camera.
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: Barbie slept on my bed one night (I think the toys were in rotation for this special privilege), and I carefully removed her glittery shoes, earrings and necklace and put them on the floor next to my bed. In the morning they were gone. They couldn't have slipped down any floorboards; there was absolutely nowhere for them to have gone. So obviously the fairies took them to wear. I never ever found those accessories, and have yet to hear a convincing explanation for their loss.
I used to get this all the time. Now I'm told it's dyspraxia. I prefer the fairies explanation.
posted
Right class, assignment for this weekend is some of your standard Vikram & Benway slash.
Scenarios I want you to think about include: Vikram and Benway have a long night in, watch internet pornography together, Vikram punishes Benway for getting excited watching 'The MILF and the Fury'; Benway jumped by gang of hoodied kids, Vikram comforts him; Vikram stood up by Chloe Sevigny and Kate Moss, Benway angry at first (jealousy, rejection), then comforts him.Posts: 8657
| IP: Logged
posted
I think you should move right out of London Ben Wei San. It's totally shit and all claustrophoic and everything. Me and the Mrs visited an old friend of mine a few months ago, in Temple Mills, Stratford, East London. Nice area, described by Thompson's Holidays as 'the bunghole of the world'. I hadn't visited for many a year and it seems that HM Gov have been placing all ugly, poor people into one place and forcing them to breed. We were departing this foul drudge as fast as we could and stopping only to shout helpful fashion advice to a man who was wearing primark jeans in public, we discovered we were being followed by a .. what is the collective noun for Hoodies? ..crows are described as a 'building' aren't they? Well this lot looked like crows, deadpan, drooling, vulture-like expressions of people who would only be described as 'special' in a lowered voice when dishing out educational achievements. Anyway, this squat of hoodies had obviously taken afront at our lovely dress sense and the shine of earned wealth dripping from our pores. They were looking for my wallet I'd say, and perhaps a feel-up of the impressively fronted Mrs VOP while they were about it. Now, I'm an equal opportunities puncher, I care not for the vagaries of race nor gender when I'm threatened and I reckoned I could take the two big ones, plant a happy-slap on the vaguely female looking one and the others would back off. So I told m'beyatch to head off towards the nearest pub and I'd meet her there in five. Good plan I thought, me birds safe and therefore a bit grateful so maybe amenable to the botty-sex we'd discussed earlier, and, I get to look a bit bloody sexy and all S.A.S. for the first time in fucking ages. But oh no, Mrs VOP says that this was not the time for expressions of manhood, lets instead do a runner. 'Right', says I, pausing only to grab her necklace and birkin bag and lob them at the malodorous hooded ones, 'lets be off'. I was already parked at the bar and half-way through my first pint when she charges like a bull with a chilli up it's arse through the pub door and acosts me with threats and swearing and all sorts of loud hullaballoo. In short, she dumped me. I mean .. wimmen.. what the fuck do you want from us?
Posts: 874
| IP: Logged
posted
that's fine, I'm going to use the new Banksy installation 'high street death slide' to SAS in through one of your windows. Zooey's mate (the one who recently changed his name to '$?') is going to film it with his mind for a psychic screening at the Foundry next week.
And, I used to work in Stratford, and it is indeed a grim place. Swampland filled with gravel and pieces of railway track, empty kareoke pubs and flyovers piled on top of each other. I worked at a data sweatshop there, earning money by clicking a mouse. The only thing keeping me sane was Xfm, even though the only two tracks being played were "long time coming" by The Delays and the second half of "take me out" by F.Ferdinand. Dossing round herbs' place, popping painkillers to keep myself emerged in a literal fog.
Stratford is due to be transformed with the coming of the Olympic Games though, right? There's going to be some hardcore hilarity when motherfuckers roll up to ye olde london only to be faced with a suburban landfill of lost hope.
[ 31.01.2006, 08:49: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic