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Not enough snow here to stop the trains, sadly. Hope that doesn't change by this evening or I'll be stranded in this hole.
Saw someone slip and fall at the station. His legs went out in front of him and he sat straight down on his cock-sicks. Upon landing he didn't move, just sat there with eyes moving left and right like those cat clocks from the past. Someone probably helped him up, I should think.
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The thing is, ralph, it just doesn't snow that much in the UK, so who's going to bother making all the preparations. This is the first snow for about six years or something.
It's like if people only went out binge drinking once every six years or so, at random. There would be no demand for an infrastructure of alcohol-buying establishments.
As it is, there's a pub on every corner in England, and usually a couple on the straight bits in between the corners too.
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Okay, I'm heading out for supplies... Got my crampons tightened and my thermals tucked right up my crevasse. Hopefully I'll avoid any avalanches, etc.
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It looks like the snow is finally lifting here. It's been an arduous time but the main thing is that we are still ALIVE. Though obviously we will all bear the scars of the trauma we have suffered at the hands of the White Death.
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quote:Originally posted by dang65: As it is, there's a pub on every corner in England, and usually a couple on the straight bits in between the corners too.
LOL. You Englanders have such weak willpowers. [/Ralph]
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quote:Originally posted by dang65: The thing is, ralph, it just doesn't snow that much in the UK, so who's going to bother making all the preparations. This is the first snow for about six years or something.
No, I get thst dnag. It's like parts of the southern US that rarely get snow in many ways. And I can even understand why your buses might not be running today -- but the trains? Surely the trains can get through?
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Obviously we wouldn't need to drink so frequently and in such volume if our drinks weren't so weak in alcohol content compared to proper American booze.
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See if you add ice to a drink and it melts, that makes the drink weaker, yeah? 'Cos ice is made of water. So, it's not really that our booze is stronger. I probably know more about this than you because I'm an alcoholic.[/Ralph]
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Uh oh, I think I spoke too soon. According to the forecast this afternoon could bring with it more light snow shower!
This could be the calm before the storm, folks. If I stop posting it'll be because critical communications systems have been affected by the sheer fury of White Monday's relentless light snow showers.
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Yeah, I used to drink some sophisticated shit. Imported MD 20/20. That was some high grade booze. It was made in America, yeah, then exported, then imported back to us, because it was so fucking awful.[/Ralph]
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Snow storm is getting worse where we are. Fifteen minutes ago we observed a Norwegian student cycling down the road, firing wildly at a Dachsuhund that appeared to be fleeing from him. One of the others took him out with the office revolver. Reckon he came from the research college up near Jericho. Probably gotten cabin fever. It's easy to lose it in this kind of storm. Me and the sales manager are going to head on up there before conditions worsen, see if we can figure out what happened.
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Provisions are running dangerously low here. We're down to our last half pack of Custard Creams. I've suggested we stop dunking in every other cup of coffee but nerves are strained and I think this biscuit situation could erupt if we're not careful.
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There have been some murmerings about heads of units being asked if they want to send their staff home here at the University. This is patently ridiculous, there's about an inch of snow on the ground and the roads are just wet.
Plus we've got the gas people in at home at the moment replacing the boiler so going home means going home to no heating, no water, and a bloody great big hole in the wall. So, on balance, I think I'd rather not..
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I don't want to worry people, but this situation has affected the American Express canteen.
Due to staff shortages there were no pizzas on offer today, also no pasta dishes. Baked potatos were still on and fortunately I managed to get a cheeseburger and chips.
I'm going to have to make it last, as I can't say for sure that I'll get another meal in the next week.
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I've just had a call from a printer who rang to assure me that although he's not in the office today he is picking up all his emails remotely.
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Our printers just sit on tables in the offices and print whatever is sent to the print queue. You have to wonder if some advances in technology really improve productivity..
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Definitely not. These printers hassle me about deadlines and quotes and ring up and beg for things to print. What's that about? My fax machine doesn't harangue me for things to fax. I like the old-school ones better.
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Sandwiches at The Baker's Oven are unlabelled today, presumably because their trained sandwich labeller is stuck in a snowdrift somewhere, wrapped shivering in a tartan blanket and sipping occasionally from a ThermosŪ of weak tea to stave off the imminent threat of cold death.
So I was left to identify the sandwich from its contents alone. I'm pleased to say that I was correct in spotting this as a chicken and bacon. Yes, I got it right today, but who can say what might happen tomorrow? Things are getting tough.
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It's not just the boring things like work that have been affected. The arts are also suffering from this climatological assault on our great nation.
Brian just rang me to see if I was okay, and to let me know that Pete has, regrettably, had to cancel tonight's play rehearsal. The whole of Act I wiped out, just like that.
Until Thursday, anyway.
What this will mean for the performance itself, only time will tell. The gods have played their hand -- it's now up to us to call, raise or fold. The wintry cards of doom are lying face up on the green baize of life. The chips of destiny are stacked against us. The roulette wheel spins. Rien ne va plus.
I don't work in the main Amex building, but in a smaller one across the road from it. The lady who runs the coffee shop in our building has been called across the road to help them out, meaning she has had to close the coffee shop here.
It also appears that the man who restocks the vending machines has been unable to get in and we are down to a couple of packets of Haribo Tangfastic and some Alpen bars left.
I thought surviving the week was going to be hard, but these new traumas suggest that making it to 5pm is going to be touch and go. If I want caffeine, I'm going to have to buy it from the coffee machine, which is nowhere near as good as the stuff from the coffee shop. Or... I'd have to thow myself into the eye of the storm and cross the road to the main building.
Although I think I could make it there, I suspect if I give an inclincation I'm going I'll be given at least three other orders for tea and coffee. This means that I'll have to get one of those cardboard things that holds four coffee cups and there is no way to move swiftly on snow when carrying one of those with four fully laden cups of tea. I'd be picked off by the velociraptors in seconds.
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When Waitrose delivered our weekly shop yesterday, we were surprised to find six 2L bottles of highland spring water that we hadn't ordered. It's almost as if they knew this was coming and gave us essential supplies in case our pipes were to freeze. Now that's what I call customer cervix.
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My God, how bad is it over there? I just got a call from my son saying the school buses are leaving early today. It sounded like complete chaos. In the background I could hear a teacher frantically shouting orders about whether to take a Jones Coaches bus at 14:45 or a Bullocks Coaches bus at 15:10. I just pray he makes it.
Look, he sent me a picture of Stockport Bus Station from his mobile phone.
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I'm still here but we're getting reports of a mass evacuation of the campus scheduled for some time in the next hour or so. I'll try to keep this channel open as long as possible, before I switch on the beacon to tell people not to come by this way.
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For some reason most people seem to be leaving at 3.30 rather than doing a full days work. I've said that the best bet is just to sit it out for a couple of days. The choppers will be here soon with new inventory and the vending machines will be restocked, but people are struggling as they are unable to buy a can of coke and so are risking the blizzard.
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